Nutcracker Suite
by Legend Maker
Summary: Danny Fenton doesn't care much for Christmas, nor for ballet...but as he's about to find out, there are MUCH worse things. Tired of holiday fluff? Here's your DIE HARD Christmas tale. Enjoy!


**_Nutcracker Suite-A Danny Phantom Christmas Story_**

_They say Christmas time is a time for miracles…_

_But miracles is such a vague term…_

_Heh heh heh heh HA HA HA HA HA HA…!

* * *

_

The bedroom was dark and more then a bit drafty, though if the figure in the large old-fashioned four-poster bed had any complaints about it, she did not express them as she slept lightly. She had Hispanic features and looked to be about sixteen years old, an average looking girl sleeping another night away. It was not Paulina: indeed we do not know this girl's name. For the sake of it, we shall call her Dodi.

Dodi slept, resting on her back, and you would think there would be no reason her sleep would be interrupted. But you would be wrong, as a purplish light infused the room.

And then a familiar face stepped through the roof. But it was not a spirit loaded with chains, nor a female or a boisterous man. If it had anything in common with those kind of spirits it was the last one, the hooded harbinger of grim tidings, but only in a basic sense. Clad in a purple robe, clocks adorning his outfit and staff, and with a long white beard flowing from his grim, bluish face, Clockwork drifted through the ceiling and down in front of the bed. With a brief wave of his hand, he called for a breeze to blow the curtains away from the bed as he slipped in a bit closer.

The girl snapped up like she was on a spring, reaching under her pillow and yanking out an ornate letter opener.

"I told you I don't want to go to your dinner, so back off before I show you that at this range I'm a surgeon with this…" Dodi said, before she realized she wasn't face to face with her perky and annoying younger cousin but a floating spirit with a clock-staff and an expression of amused annoyance on his face.

"While I suppose it is wise to keep oneself safe, I must say that is a poor choice of weapon in regards to the circumstances." Clockwork commented.

"AHHH!" Dodi yelped, leaping up from under her covers and pressing herself against the backboard, her letter opener at the ready. "What the heck are YOU?"

"Perhaps the question is, what are you? I am merely a…messenger, if you will, and you have been chosen to hear my message, young lady."

"What message?"

"Ah young girl, it is one you need. For you see, the season is upon us, and you find no joy in it. So I have come to…"

"Wait wait…"

"There is no need to be frightened…"

"HOLD IT! What are you saying? Are you here to try and shove Christmas cheer down my throat too?"

"…What?" Clockwork said, having not quite expected that response.

"You're a ghost, and you're talking about this season? As strange as this is, I already see where it's going!"

"…I do not plan to shove anything down your throat. You must merely be shown the spirit of…"

The girl named Dodi began cracking up, though it wasn't exactly a happy sound.

"Oh, this is rich! The spirits of Christmas Past exists, and he's come to lay his damn message on me!"

"Do you not need it? You find no joy in this great time…"

Dodi began laughing again.

"What's so amusing?"

"This time isn't about happiness! I've said it before, and I'll say it again!"

"This time is not about happiness? This is Christmas!"

"EXACTLY!" Dodi declared. "Christmas is about money! MOST people buy things because they think they'll get things or it'll get them in good with whoever they gave the gift to. It's simply a payment for services rendered, nothing more. That's not happiness! And the rest, well, they're just pretending to be happy in the hope the illusion will become reality, but that's about as likely as someone really being sawn in half and shaking it off! Happiness doesn't have a thing to do with this time!"

"Um…" Clockwork said, a bit taken aback. He did this once every several years, going around and trying to help people who the Observants had picked out who didn't like Christmas. He wasn't sure why: maybe because in general it was a good time and he, being a master of time, liked good times. Heck, he was certain a report or a story of one of his manifestations had gotten back to Dickens and led to that novel. And it wasn't like he hadn't encountered resistance. But most people were afraid of him due to his strangeness, and while this Dodi had demonstrated fear, she apparently had very strong opinions on the matter Clockwork had planned to illuminate her on, that matter being her lack of Christmas cheer. Well, he was just getting started…

"…I know this is a cynical age, miss, but there are many ways to look at Christmas…"

"EXACTLY! And that's why I can't STAND IT!" Dodi yelled. Clockwork arched an eyebrow, not sure where to go.

"…Everything about it?"

"Yes!"

"Even the good things?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"BECAUSE EVERYONE LIES ABOUT WHY THEY REALLY CELEBRATE IT! People do terrible things all year round and think they're somehow redeemed if they hand over a cheap trinket to someone they don't like or an expensive one to someone they want something from! Family nuts use it as an excuse to force their family into their ideal picture of a family, gets gifts from them, and get bonuses from their bosses! People speak words they don't mean, sing songs they don't believe, and preach values and acts that are anathema to them the rest of the year! And the people who celebrate the other holidays can just substitute the relative names and instances of Christmas with their own and IT'S STILL TRUE! BAH HUMBUG!" Dodi ranted, now standing on her bed and waving the letter opener around. Clockwork stared, at a loss. These modern times were proving more complicated then even he realized: they had inured some people to the point that they would yell at ghosts who were trying to bring Christmas cheer.

"Well…I suppose your opinion has merit…"

"Merit? It's the truth! But no one likes the truth!" Dodi ranted. "You want to know why I hate this season? It's the epitome of human vileness! It shows how we really are right along with our most pathetic and widespread lies about our nature! This isn't the way we are! You want a more accurate display of what we're really about? I see true human nature when I see Black Friday!"

"The stock market crash?"

"No, the day after Thanksgiving when there are huge sales! That's human nature! Merchandise! Never mind it's been there before and will be there again, we need it now! It's cheaper, so let's all mob a store! Don't worry about the lady that got run over and broke her leg, they have wrapping paper for ten cents less than usual and the latest version of an insanely violent and decrepit game! BUY BUY BUY! EH? LET GO, IT'S MINE DAMNIT! LEGGO! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRAAAAAAAAAGH! CHOMPPUNCHCHOMPCHOMPKICKRUN!" Dodi yelled, kicking and stabbing with her letter opener.

"…True the season has become commercialized…"

"IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT MONEY! The lies and cover-ups for that kind of attitude and behavior are seen with those charities we have every year! Toys for Tots, Rescue Mission volunteers, Santas at the shopping centers, etc. You know what happens with most of the money? IT GOES TO THE CORPORATIONS THAT STARTED IT! The gifts? They'll probably go to some random country where kids need FOOD AND WATER, not TOYS! They're probably cursing America! You wanna know what they think of us? 'Sure, you can give us imported toys made by the abused and abandoned children in a communist Chinese toy factory, but can't you send us some DAMN DRINKING WATER AND BREAD! DAMN YOU, GREAT SATAN! _DAMN YOU!_"

"……….You really have thought through your reasons not to celebrate."

"Oh I celebrate just fine! Go ahead, celebrate it! I follow it! I use it as an excuse to pay off people for putting up with my sadistic, cynical, self-absorbed, nasty self with GIFTS! PAYMENT! BECAUSE YOU ALL KNOW YOU WANT TO JUST SLAP ME UNTIL I FALL OVER AND SHUT UP ABOUT EVERYTHING! BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!" Dodi raved. "You want to treat me like Scrooge? Scrooge believed a lie! I know the truth, and EVERYONE ELSE WITH THEIR CHRISTMAS CHEER IS THE ONE WITH THE LIES! I am sick of it! I am sick of it all, all the lies and crap that people shove down their own throats to be happy and believe in such NONSENSE about this season! I'M NOT GOING TO JOIN THEM! I'LL TAKE MY BITTER TRUTH! IT'S NOT ABOUT TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY, IT'S ABOUT WHO HAS MORE GIFTS AND WHO CAN PUT ON THE WIDEST FAKE SMILE! SCREW CHRISTMAS! BAH HUMBUG TO ALL, AND TO ALL A HORRIBLE GUILT TRIP AND HANGOVER AFTERWARDS!"

Clockwork just stared, at a loss for words.

"…So I think your help would be best served elsewhere." Dodi said calmly. Clockwork was so surprised he nearly dropped his staff.

"Uh…perhaps." Clockwork said. "…But I did choose to come here, and even with your very…vehement viewpoints there are still some things to consider. Have you contemplated the theological perspective…"

"OH DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE RELIGIOUS…"

"Sleep." Clockwork said as he bonked Dodi on the head with his staff. Dodi collapsed on her bed.

"I think the best thing for you and Christmas is just for the two to avoid each other." Clockwork said, as he waved his staff to put Dodi back under the covers and her letter opener under her pillow. A quick staff twirl performed a brief bit of time manipulation that erased Dodi's memories of the past ten minutes, as Clockwork flew back through the ceiling.

"And I thought the Phantom boy had some negative viewpoints about Christmas." Clockwork said. "This experience requires some more thought, I cannot aid mortals if they are so determined to deflect my aid. I will return to my realm and think it over…" Clockwork said.

Clockwork never realized he wouldn't be getting any thinking done when he arrived back at his realm.

And found it in ruins, everything torn apart and destroyed…and sitting in the center of it all was the fractured remnants of something that had been very important…but apparently not good enough, as Clockwork stared in horror over it all.

And then he abruptly turned into a child.

"Oh, poopy." He said.

* * *

(Danny Phantom Opening)

(Commercials)

(Title Picture)

**Nutc…**

"Hey, hold it!"

(Sorry, brief interruption, let's try that again)

**Nutcracke…**

"No, no, NO! I will NOT allow it!"

The title picture was shoved off to the side…by none other then Danny himself, as he pushed the picture off screen and then glared at the readers.

_**Oh great, what's going on…**_

"Ok, YOU!" Danny yelled, as he reached above the screen and yanked, causing a small elf with pink clothing and a big pointy hat with LM written on it to fall down onto the screen.

"Hey! I was writing here! Or there! Or…damn it Danny, these metafictional abstracts are making my head hurt!" Legend Maker, aka me, complained. "What's the problem? I could see Vlad or maybe Sam interrupting my Christmas story, but…"

"Exactly! Did you not watch the episode? I hate Christmas! And if Ghost Writer made my life such a mess, I don't even want to KNOW what YOU'LL do!" Danny yelled, waving his arms around.

"Your faith is me is so comforting." I said.

"I have good reason! You sent a nutso fire spirit after me and then you did that thing with Anubis and…"

"Danny, I'm not using my fanon timeline. This story uses your canon, show timeline. No Sizzles allowed."

"…You are?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I have my reasons. Now, if you don't mind, I have a Christmas story to write." I said, as I flew up towards the top of the screen.

Danny grabbed my foot.

"What is it this time?" I asked as he pulled me down to face him.

"Even if you're sticking to canon, you're forgetting that I hate Christmas!"

"Well yes but…"

"Yes nothing! I don't want to appear in a Christmas-themed story!"

"Oh enough of this!" I said, and turned Danny into a gingerbread man.

Ginger-Danny fell to the ground, as I flew off the top of the screen.

**_That's better. Now, Danny, are you going to behave?_**

Ginger-Danny nodded his head…or shook a bit, but that's the impression I got. A second later, he was Danny again.

"Ahhh, ahhhh…I still don't want to do this. Who knows what horrors you'll put me through? Or worse, what Christmas overdone cheer…"

**_Danny, who are you talking to here? Did that opening look like the usual Christmas story opening?_**

"…Well no…in fact that was a damn pessimistic opening. Shouldn't Christmas stories be about what's good in the season, instead of all the bad things? Like my mom and dad's arguments, and getting peed on, and rhyme, oh god rhyme! I hate rhyme!"

**_True. I consider it a reminder. It's easy to pay Christmas lip service: harder to actually follow the spirit you preach. So look at the bad side, remember where it comes from, and that it can only been deflected by responsibility. That's the modern Christmas spirit. And since you're unhappy Danny, I am quite willing to extend some of that spirit._**

"So you'll leave me out of the story entirely?"

**_NO! The show is called 'Danny Phantom'! If I remove you, then it's just called " " and that's really hard to write in a title! You're staying in it!_**

"Oh joy, oh bliss."

**_Sarcasm doesn't become you Danny. Here's the deal. You tone down your anti-Christmas attitude so this whole story isn't one long bitch session by you, and I'll grant you some leeway._**

"But I don't like Christmas. If you change that, aren't you altering my character? You, the paragon of keeping things true to the show?" Danny said, smirking.

**_Hmmm, how true! Well, if I'm mucking with your character, I may as well just completely toss it out the window and start a Danny/Mr. Lancer slash fic!_**

"I'LL BE GOOD! I'LL BE GOOD!"

**_Smart boy. Besides, you lightened up at the end of the episode. I can use that. So do we have a deal? You keep the Christmas sourness to a minimum, considering the overload of it in the opening?_**

"Ok, ok, deal. But in return, I want a few things!"

**_Ask away._**

"Absolutely NO rhyming! At all! Whatsoever!"

**_Ok._**

"And I don't want my parents fighting over Santa Claus!"

**_Gotcha._**

"And I want Paulina to kiss me!"

**_I'll see what I can do._**

"And…uh…that's all I can think of. But I mean it! No rhyming!"

**_Deal. Now get off the set so I can start up again._**

"All right, canon storyline, this is actually gonna go well, a Christmas story I like starring in…" Danny said as he headed off the side of the screen.

**_Oh poor Danny. You claim you know me, but not well enough. Anyone can do Danny/Sam fluff or snowball fights, and you're welcome to them. Me, I have my own ideas. You don't like Christmas Danny? Even outside my fanon, there are worse things. So. MUCH. WORSE._**

**_Sorry for the delay dear readers. Let's get back to business.

* * *

_**

Title Picture  
(again absent. You have imaginations, use them!)

**Nutcracker Suite**  
("It's your last dance!")

("He's a phantom, a phantom…Danny Phantom, Phantom…")

* * *

"Mom, I really don't want to go the ballet." Danny Fenton said over breakfast. 

"But Danny, this isn't just a ballet show! This is the Nutcracker Suite! It's as much a part of Christmas as turkey and pine trees." Maddie Fenton said.

"And if I have to go, you have to go." Jack Fenton groused. Maddie kicked him under the table. "OW! What was that?"

"A ghost must have bit you my dear."

"HOPPING HOLIDAY HAUNTINGS! HOW DID IT GET AROUND THE SECURITY?" Jack yelled as he jumped out of his chair and ran out of the room.

"That should keep him busy for about twenty minutes." Maddie said. "Danny, I know that these days, ballet probably doesn't strike you as the most fun way to spend three hours…?"

"It's three hours long? Now I really don't want to go!"

"Danny, what do you have against ballet?"

"If I wanted to see dancing I can just turn on any hip-hop music station…"

"You can't honestly compare those indecent gyrations with ballet! They're worlds…no, galaxies apart!"

"But Mom!"

"Danny, it's the Christmas season, I got us all tickets, and we're going."

"…Jazz, come on, give me a hand here! Say that doing something against my will will damage my self-esteem or something."

"Oh Danny, normally I would leap to your side and valiantly defend your mind…but your brain needs some culture." Jazz said from her seat at the table, and then gave Danny a wicked grin said that _Sorry sucker, you're coming whether you like it or not._

"Argh!" Danny groused. "When are we going?"

"Next Wednesday, in the early afternoon."

"Great, I'll…wait." Danny said. "I have to go to school that day."

"No you don't, vacation starts this Friday Danny. Don't lie, it's not becoming…"

"No really Mom, we have school! Remember those leaky pipes back in October, shut down the school for a few days? Well Lancer didn't want us getting behind so he took three days out of our Christmas vacation! Our last day is on Wednesday, the same day! I can't go! You wouldn't want to pull me out of school for the sake of going to see a play, right?"

"Well, no Danny…but this was the only time I could get tickets, I mean…maybe I should call Mr. Lancer, see if I can arrange something…"

"Mom, your own words: you called him a fanatic."

"…Yes."

"You think he'll compromise?"

"…Not unless I take the school to court." Maddie sighed, realizing all the trouble she'd have to go through to get her son to see the ballet. "All right Danny, I want to know why I didn't know about this holiday alteration though."

"I thought you got the letter, it was mailed a month ago!"

"I didn't get any letters saying that."

"Well, what could have happened to them?"

A loud racket suddenly sounded nearby.

"GOT HIM! I GOT THE GHOST! I…oh wait no, it's the mailman again. Sorry Percy!"

"You wanted an explanation mom?" Danny said, pointing with his thumb.

Maddie just sighed again. Danny didn't like seeing his mom sad…but he also didn't want to go to a ballet either. For her sake, he refrained from any celebrating. Outward celebrating anyway.

It appeared that karma didn't care for that either though, as his stomach was suddenly struck by cramps.

"Ohhhhhhhhh…I suddenly don't feel so good…ohhh." Danny muttered/groaned.

"Oh come now Danny, there's no need to…" Maddie said, thinking Danny was now trying to skip school.

Danny's sudden rush to the bathroom and his violent expulsion of his breakfast convinced Maddie that Danny wasn't faking anything.

* * *

"So, your stomach flu is just about done with?" Tucker asked Danny as he, Danny, and Sam walked to school. 

"Mostly. Still feel the urge to vomit some times, but they're fading." Danny replied. It turned out Danny's sudden rejection of his breakfast was courtesy of the abrupt manifestation of a nasty bug that had laid Danny low for a few days, keeping him out of school as he convalesced. Of course, Jazz had brought him his homework, ugh. At least there had been no ghost attacks. That day had been the previous Tuesday: it was now Wednesday the next week, the final day of school that had allowed Danny to get out of seeing the Nutcracker. Danny had actually gotten back to school that Monday, but he was still a bit green around the gills and after splattering Tucker's new shoes with more ejecta, Sam and Tucker had decided to keep their distance for a bit, hence today was the first day they had really had a chance to talk since Danny got sick.

"Well good. Though I still say you wouldn't have been so ill if you had more Christmas cheer." Sam said.

"Ugh, can we not go over this again?"

"Well Danny, really, why do you hate Christmas so much? I mean, yeah, your parents argue, and you had a few bad childhood experiences…but should that taint your whole life? What else could it be?" Tucker asked.

"Grandma got run over by a reindeer."

"Danny, I know your grandmother is alive and lives in South California."

"No, I mean the song. They should take away that guy's singing license. In my case, it was the straw that broke the camel's back." Danny said. "Well, my parents have been pretty good this year, so I guess I can tone it down at well. Besides, at least I don't have to go see the Nutcracker."

* * *

"Congratulations class. You have been chosen, on this last day, to be the class that will go see this year's production of the Nutcracker." Mr. Lancer said. 

If Danny had been in an anime derived series, he would have facevaulted. In the end such a gesture was not needed: the loud groans that emerged from most of the class conveyed the immense exasperation he felt quite nicely. He couldn't believe it: out of the frying pan and into the narcolepsy inducer.

"Yes class, while the rest of the school merely gets to watch Christmas specials such as Peanuts and the Grinch this last day before vacation, you will be allowed to see a magnificent spectacle of Christmas that…" Mr. Lancer tried to say as the class engaged in a collective eye-rolling, muttering, and general teenage vexation exercise. "GIFT OF THE MAGI! STOP THAT!" He yelled, shocking the class into silence. "All right, I'm going to level with you. Ballet is normally long, melodramatic and in a language that you don't speak. Not to mention that the less mature of you will probably wish to make comments about the manhood of the male dancers. In short, for you, the generation that demands instant gratification in the simplest of terms, it's boring as hell. But... the state requires that you feign interest so that this is an education event. So, I'm going to give you all grades. As of now, you have an A+. Every time I see you look away from the stage, excuse yourself or fall asleep, I'm going to take away points. So, everybody will PRETEND to pay attention, and who knows? Some of you might like it."

"Uggghhhhhh…" Danny groaned to himself, while Sam snickered nearby at the fact that he was going to have to watch the ballet anyway. Others were making similar sounds, while Mr. Lancer scanned the class.

"Oh yes, I feel that this should be repeated. As mentioned, some of you may wish to comment on the males due to their style of dress and the fact that many of you cannot separate the art of ballet from what girls do. So I would just like to point out that those males are most likely in far better shape then all of the athletes in this class put together."

"What? Are you kidding?" Dash cracked.

"Far from it Mr. Baxter, but if you disagree with me, I have a fair offer for you." Mr. Lancer said, a brief glitter of dark joy passing through his gaze. "Come to the front of the class."

Dash did so, swaggering up.

"In terms of ballet dancer's fitness, I challenge you to stand on your toes. If you can do it for two seconds, I will make sure you get A's for every class you take for the rest of the year."

"Awesome! Ha!" Dash said, arching up on his feet.

"No no Mr. Baxter. That is standing on your toes and the upper sole of your feet. I mean your TOES, as in, so they are perfectly vertical to the floor." Mr. Lancer said, with just a dash of sadism.

Dash didn't quite look so confident now, as he looked down on his feet, as if unsure just how he was going to perform such a motion.

"Come now Mr. Baxter, the bus is arriving to pick us up in twenty minutes, we don't have all day."

Dash finally managed to snap his feet up to the point where he was standing on his toes…whereas he immediately fell over. The class laughed, laughter that cut off as Dash glared at them. He tried again, and fell again, and once more, before he half sighed and half growled.

"I can't."

"While the male dancers can, for quite some time. True, they have special shoes, but it does show that one should not make judgments simply based on what appears on the surface." Mr. Lancer said. "Anyway class, as I said there is still a few minutes before the bus arrives. I believe your class had a Secret Santa: anyone who has not exchanged gifts should do so now. I will be back in a few minutes: try not to burn down the room, please." Mr. Lancer said as he left. The class immediately erupted into a storm of talking, as some people got up and gave other people presents.

"Oh man Danny, you just can't win, can you?" Tucker joked, needling Danny.

"I don't know what I did in a previous life to deserve this, but I think it must have involved orphans and fire. Lots of fire." Danny groused.

"Oh relax Danny. Could be worse. Could be opera." Sam said.

"Yeah well it's still pretty bad, and knowing my luck…"

"Hey Fen-Ton!"

Danny's eyes flicked up as he suddenly found Dash Baxter standing next to his desk. This didn't bode well.

"I drew your name out of the hat. I'm your secret Santa." Dash said, with a wicked grin that indicated he was clearly aiming to regain the face he had lost moments earlier with Mr. Lancer's ballet stunt.

"Oh great. Let me guess, it's a special holiday wedgie." Danny said.

"What? Oh no Fenton! Come on! This is Christmas!" Dash said. Danny arched an eyebrow, wondering if he should lower his guard.

"Really?"

"Yeah! And you know they say the only good gift is a useful gift, so…here you go! Merry Christmas!" Dash laughed, as he plopped the gift down into Danny's hand.

Said gift turned out to be a Bic lighter, the kind you could buy in any gas station, which is probably where Dash had gotten it, as Danny stared at it.

"Lots of uses for something like that! Have a merry Christmas, Fen-dumb! Hahahaha!" Dash laughed, and went over to rejoin his friends, who high-fived him for his amazing task of continuing to be a jerk to Danny even on Christmas.

"…You know, it's times like this when you realize why God invented arson." Danny said, looking at the lighter. Even with his Christmas dislike, Danny had gotten a nice gift for the Secret Santa name he'd drawn, a guy Danny barely knew at that. But what did he expect from Dash? "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Become the official town fireplace starter?" Sam suggested.

"Take up smoking?" Tucker added. Danny sighed and pocketed the Bic, turning away from his friends.

"When this is over, we are having one of my Christmas This movie parties." Danny commented, referring to a personal event he, his friends, and sometimes Jazz did: instead of watching stuff usually associated with Christmas they watched films that were only mildly linked with Christmas or made fun of it in some fashion.

"Gotcha. What movies do you want this year?" Tucker asked as he started making a list.

"Lay the options on me."

"First two _Die Hards_?"

"Yes."

"_Black Christmas?_"

"Yes."

"_The Ref?_"

"Oh god yes!"

"_Santa's Slay?_"

"What?"

"New one. Heard it's cheesy fun."

"Sure then. That should be enough. Let's see if we can't do that tonight, or tomorrow at least." Danny said, as he slouched on his desk. Perhaps the day would get better now. Well, the day couldn't get any worse.

"It was a hard shot to get…" Nathan said, as he tried to get Paulina's attention. He'd been her secret Santa, so he'd used his hobby of photography to get Paulina her gift. He'd hoped she'd be appreciative…except the second she saw the picture she completely forgot about Nathan. Nathan tried to get her attention one last time, then gave up and left. Well, it was Christmas, she was happy, mission accomplished. Now if he could just figure out how to get that gold necklace for Valerie…

Danny's eyes caught on the photo. It was him. Well, Danny Phantom to be specific. It was a picture taken of him in mid-battle somewhere, apparently with a long-range camera. Nathan apparently had a streak of Peter Parker in him, as the photo was perfectly caught so he looked all dangerous and heroic, and of course Paulina was going all moony-eyed over it.

"Ohhhhh…if only I could find you and some mistletoe…" Paulina said, hearts in her eyes, and then, as Danny watched, she kissed the picture.

"Well someone has a loose grasp on…HEY WAIT A MINUTE!" Danny ejaculated (yeah that can be used as a speaking term, get your mind out of the gutter!). "No! No! That wasn't what I meant! We had a deal!"

**_Then maybe in the future you would do well to be SPECIFIC, Danny Photograph._**

"No fair! You cheated!"

**_Oh be quiet or I'll drop a sixteen-ton fruitcake on you!_**

Danny groaned loudly and sank down onto his desk.

"Danny? Who are you talking to?" Sam asked. Danny just groaned again. Sam decided that Danny wasn't responding well to being cheered up: she'd refocus and try a little later.

Mr. Lancer returned several minutes later.

"The bus is here children, please proceed in an orderly fashion to the front of the school…" Mr. Lancer said, and amazingly the kids mostly listened as they began to file out of the room, Lancer counting heads.

"28…29…30…31…32…all here…hold on a moment Mr. Fenton." Mr. Lancer said, pulling Danny aside. "Your stomach virus, is it, um, under control?"

"Uh…Ohhhhh! Oh god! It feels like something is clawing in my gut!" Danny said, bending over.

"Please give me some credit Mr. Fenton. You're not the first child who hasn't wanted to go see a ballet show." Mr. Lancer said dryly.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes. How is your stomach flu, really?"

"…I think it's mostly gone…but in all honesty I'm not completely sure."

"Very well then, we shall get you an aisle seat, just in case. Now come along Mr. Fenton. One ballet show isn't going to be the end of the world." Mr. Lancer said as he escorted Danny out of the classroom.

* * *

Of course, for teenagers, there are more then a few definitions of end of the world. 

"DANNY!"

It turned out the show that Danny and his class were so lucky to get to see was the same show Maddie had gotten tickets for. Danny's father, having seen Danny enter with his class, then proceeded to do just about everything a father should not do in front of a teenager's peers. I'll let you fill in your own blanks. It didn't get any better when Maddie and Jazz came over and Maddie began gushing to Mr. Lancer over his choice to bring the school. Danny, more then a few times, honestly thought of blowing the secret identity just so he could sink through the floor.

"Man Danny, I think the football team's conceiving of new ways to humiliate you just so they can properly respond to this." Tucker said to Danny, who had adapted the position of burying his face in his hands with the hope that if he couldn't see it, it would all go away.

"Eh, it's vacation after this. They'll have forgotten it when they come back and the new thoughts have pushed the old ones out of their pea brains." Sam commented.

"How could this get any worse?" Danny commented.

Then a breath of icy air escaped his mouth.

"Oh NO!"

* * *

"I still can't believe this." Penelope Spectra said as she walked among the people, in full human disguise and in an elegant dress. 

"Oh come now Penelope. Is it not the mark of a great man to have wide ranging interests?" Vlad Masters said, dressed in a nice suit, Penelope on his arm, as he strode through the crowd. "I've been enamored with this show since I was this high, and I never miss it."

"So, why are we in Amity Park, the area where your enemy, and mine by the way, happens to live? I'm sure there's more then one company performing this show."

"And the company that puts on the finest rendition of it happens to be performing here this year, hence we are here."

"And why did you ask me to come along?"

"It looks strange for a multi-millionaire to attend such functions alone. And my circle of human acquaintances has…shall we say, shrank in recent times."

"So why are the other ghosts here?"

"It's…difficult to explain." Vlad said. "To put it as simply as possible, something about the performance of such a play gives off a massive amount of positive energy, which the ghosts like to…absorb or something, like a…good vibrations tan…or…something. I can't really explain. I can't feel it because I'm half human and you can't because of your own taste for the darker side of emotion. No matter though, I'm sure we'll both have a great time."

"I'm just here because of what you offered me."

"Yes yes, I know. At least feign some interest." Vlad commented. "In any case, this is something I always look forward to: nothing could ruin it for me."

"HEY VLADDIE!"

"Oh, glazed hams!" Vlad exclaimed, and a second later Jack Fenton was on him like a big bear, except bears didn't wear hazmat suits and probably smelled better then Jack's cheap cologne.

"So, who's this? Setting up for a ball and chain V-Man? She drag you to this too? Hah, women!" Jack said, buddying up to Vlad. Penelope amused herself by watching Vlad try and grin through his clenched teeth. She never did understand why Vlad had such a hangup over the female mate of this oaf, and why he didn't just blast the lout into nonexistence if he was so bothered by him.

"Ahhhhhh…Jack…so nice to see you my fat friend…but you're wrinkling my suit so please get off…get off…GET OFF!" Vlad finally roared as he shoved Jack off him.

"Grouchy eh Vladdie? Yeah, I suppose you have a good reason." Jack said, completely reading Vlad's reaction wrong as usual as Vlad brushed himself off. "But eh, what we suffer now gets paid back later, right?"

"What?"

"Oh you know…"

"No I don't and I don't want to!" Vlad said.

"Well anyway, I have to go. Say Vlad, after this is done we should go have a coffee, trade stories about the good old days! Yeah, those were some fun times…" Jack said.

"It's starting Jack. Time to go." Maddie said as she suddenly materialized next to Jack. Vlad suddenly looked much more interested.

"Maddie!" He said softly.

"Vlad." Maddie replied, her tone frosty as she led Jack away.

"…Wait a minute! I thought I was forgiven!" Vlad complained. Penelope chuckled and he turned to glare at her. "Do you have something to say?"

"We're fickle Vlad. Never forget that." Penelope commented.

"Graaahhh. That blasted Jack Fenton…and if he's here, then…"

"Vlad." Danny's voice said behind the millionaire Halfa. Vlad's eyes widened, and then grew exasperated as he turned around to look at a cross Danny Fenton, backed up by a stern looking Sam and Tucker.

"Well, if it wasn't my GOOD FRIEND Daniel Fenton!" Vlad said sarcastically. "And his friends Sam and Tucker, to whom I'm fairly indifferent." He added.

"What are you doing here Vlad? If you're trying something…" Danny said, trying to sound intimidating.

"Oh please Daniel! Contrary to your self-absorbed teenage mind, not every moment I have is spent planning the best way to cross paths with you! You and I being here at the same time is purely coincidental! I am here for the show, and nothing more, and the last thing I want is to pick a fight with you and miss it!"

"Someone I'm not really that inclined to believe you." Danny replied.

"Oh, turkey legs!" Vlad cursed. "I don't care what you believe! I am here, for the show. I would offer to make a deal with you, except you would never believe me, so I am going to go up to my private box and watch the ballet and do nothing else and I expect you to do the same and you are just going to take my word for it! Good day to you, Daniel!" Vlad said, and then pushed past Danny as he strode through the room, Penelope at his side.

"Well Merry Christmas to you buddy." Sam commented.

"And a happy new year." Tucker added. "You think he might be telling the truth?"

"If he's not, I'll be ready." Danny replied.

"Misters Foley and Fenton, Miss Manson, the performance is not going to delay itself for just you three!" Mr. Lancer called, and Danny sighed as he and his friends headed back for the line that was heading into the Theatre.

* * *

About ten minutes later, just about everyone was seated, as the orchestra began tuning up. As it turned out, it was a good thing Danny hadn't come with his family: Jack was so big he needed both seats for himself. He was sitting several rows in front of Danny, jabbering away to anyone he could find about ghosts and how he was certain the theatre was haunted, he could feel it in his bones, and so on and so on until Maddie had finally reached up and began violently twisting his ear to get him to shut up. Sitting in his aisle seat several rows back, Danny had sunk so far into the chair it was a step away from being integrated into his DNA. At least Tucker and Sam were next to him instead of any other students. 

"Tell me to lighten up on Christmas, she says, then she goes out of her way to show just why I don't like this season, what the heck is she playing at…" Danny muttered, and then he was struck by a light abdomen cramp, the stomach flu having its last hurrah before his immune systems wiped it out. He groaned a bit, and Sam and Tucker leaned over to check on him, as did Mr. Lancer, who noticed and stood up near the other end.

"You all right Mr. Fenton?" Mr. Lancer asked.

"…Yeah." Danny said, the cramp passing. "Fine, fine." Mr. Lancer nodded and sat down.

Up and off to the right, in his private box, a glass of fine champagne and the news that the Packers had just won the early day game they'd been playing had put Vlad in a better mood, as he sipped and waited. Penelope sat next to him, looking bored. Well, for the gear and resources Vlad had promised her for her company, she could endure a few hours of dancing.

And near the back of the Theatre, where the shadows made it hard to see…

"Is it starting yet?"

"Schedule says two more minutes."

"Miss, that is my spot. Taking it is against the rules."

"Oh just sit next to me dipstick! It's all the same empty space!"

"If it was not for the season, I would remember this."

"I hope the Nutcracker's box is…"

"No! If I can't cackle about Herr Drosselmeyer's inventions, then he can't comment on the boxes!"

"Calm down all of you!"

"Hey, who let the midget on my motorcycle?"

"I'm not a midget! I'm just undertall!"

"Be quiet all of you, lest I wish for your silence!"

"Enough! Enough! It's starting! Quiet, everyone!" Said the last voice, and all the spirits grew silent as the curtain began to open.

And so the performance began.

* * *

The music wasn't bad, Danny admitted to himself after a few minutes. You couldn't quite bob your head to it, but Danny could see the appeal. After all, he hadn't disliked _Fantasia_. 

Danny knew the basic plot: the performance was currently at the spot where Clara and Fritz were spying in on their parents. Not exactly thrilling: he remembered Sam was aggravated when she found the ballet was going to be one of the toned down versions. Apparently in the original the Mouse King, due to appear later, had nine heads that 'foamed blood'. Yeah, Danny could see how that wouldn't go over big today.

Jack was doing his best not to fidget: he figured he'd best not annoy his wife any more. Maddie and Jazz sat entranced by the play, a state shared by Vlad in his private box. Spectra was leaning to the side, her right arm under her chin, watching. Not exactly her cup of tea, but it was a nice production all the same.

Herr Drosselmeyer made his appearance, and his segment began. When Drosselmeyer produced his 'dolls', really more dancers made up as dolls, and they danced, what really impressed Danny was that afterward Drosselmeyer's assistants picked the 'dolls' up and carried them away like they really were dolls and not people, the dancers keeping their legs perfectly rigid so that they stuck straight up in the air as if they really were wound down toys. It was an impressive feat of muscle control: Danny could appreciate that.

And then the Nutcracker finally made his appearance.

And a breath of icy air suddenly escaped from Danny, as his eyes widened. What the…

As Vlad snorted out his own icy air, taken even more aback then Danny. It had been a while since anything had set HIS ghost sense off, what the heck was going on? Vlad knew nearly all the other ghosts of Amity Park were at the performance, but they wanted to absorb the good vibrations and watch the play, not cause trouble, and if they had concealed themselves well enough to hide themselves from Danny by the time the play started Vlad could see no reason to them to come out…so what…

Sam could feel Danny tense up, and she glanced at him.

"Danny?" She whispered.

"…Trouble. Cover for me!" Danny whispered back, and then clutched his stomach and groaned lightly. As Mr. Lancer glanced down the line of seats, Danny got up and started leaving, Sam accompanying him. Oh dear, the poor boy was still a bit sick. Well, Lancer would wait a bit: if Danny didn't come back then Lancer would go looking for him. Danny's illness cut him some slack, but not much.

Lancer wasn't the only one who saw Danny leaving. Vlad saw it too.

"Oh, minced pies! What is going on, and just how is that boy involved in it?" Vlad hissed under his breath.

"You got me Vlad. We're usually the ones who start trouble, not him." Spectra commented.

"Oh be quiet! I'm going to investigate, cover for me!" Vlad said, as he stood up and dashed out of his box.

As Danny emerged out of the door of the Theatre. Without a word, Sam stood in front of him, even as Vlad went into the hallway outside his box.

The circles appeared almost at the same time, as rings of white and black slid over the pair, and when they ended Danny Phantom and Vlad Plasmius both stood. Sam nodded to Danny, who turned intangible and flew upward, planning to get a bird's eye view of the whole Theatre to see if he could spot whatever had set him off.

The same idea Vlad had, and hence the two of them found themselves arriving in the dusty rafters above the theatre at the same time.

"Argh! Just what do you think you're doing boy! I'm missing the performance for this, you better have a damn good reason!" Vlad snapped.

"Me? Hello, who's the hero in this relationship here? You're the one who's causing something!"

"Oh don't you try and turn this on me due to your blasted moral compass! I want to see this performance, you don't, so whatever you're doing, stop now!"

"Oh no, you're not going to confuse me by pretending to be innocent! Whatever YOU'RE scheming Vlad, it won't work!"

"Argh! Listen boy, I only get to see this once a year. That way, for me, it retains its magic. I don't have much magic in my life boy, and if you try and take what I have, believe me, you will REGRET it." Vlad threatened, red ectoplasm exploding on his hands.

"Bring it on, big man." Danny retorted.

And then a new voice suddenly sounded off…a voice that did not speak but instead laughed, cold, evil, mocking laughter that snapped both Danny and Vlad out of their fighting as they tried to find the source. They were the only ones who heard it: the orchestra down below covered up the sound for the audience.

"Ohhhhhh…it's true what they say…"

And then Dark Dan Phantom floated from the shadows, his arms clasped behind him, his fanged maw in a wickedly amused grin as he looked at the two shocked Halfas.

"The sum is truly greater then the parts." Dan Phantom finished.

"…You." Danny whispered, in shock.

"Me! Me." Dan replied, and laughed. "And me too! Me, me, me!"

"What the…who the devil are you?" Vlad asked.

"Precisely, me." Dan laughed, his long tongue flicking out for a bit. Vlad glanced once more at Danny…and was stunned by the intense, angry look he saw on the child's face. He didn't think it was possible for Danny to wear such an expression.

"…Ok…child, since you two seem to know each other, would you mind giving me a straight answer? Who is he?"

"An anomaly." Danny replied coldly. "An aberration that shouldn't exist any more. A curse that will never be."

"Oh my, me, I never recall having such a melodramatic streak. Maybe you got rid of it, me, or maybe you lost it before me, me…oh me oh my." Dan said, and laughed again. Danny's expression remained blank except for his anger, but behind it some confusion was popping up. Why was his evil self acting like this? It was…off. Vlad, meanwhile, felt a headache beginning.

"CAN WE STOP PLAYING WHO'S ON FIRST! WHO ARE YOU!" Vlad roared.

"He's you, Vlad." Danny said, and Vlad's shocked eyes flew to him. "You. And me. Combined. The worst of both of us merged into something beyond even that."

"…W-W-WHAT?" Vlad stammered. "What? How? Who? What?"

"Man, I'm repetitive." Dan commented.

"He's from a future that no longer exists. One where I made a bad decision. It cost me everything I loved. In that, you actually showed decency…too much. I made another bad decision, my last. Our ghost halves were taken from us…merged…combined…transformed into what you see now." Danny said. "But that was changed. He interfered to try and ensure his birth…and in that destroyed what made him. He shouldn't exist."

"So…he's…us?" Vlad said.

"You got it, me. The gang's all here. Me, myself, and I." Dan laughed. "But you're wrong, little me. I do exist."

"You're just an echo of a prevented tragedy. That's not much of an existence. And I'll gladly make it less of one." Danny said, as his eyes glowed bright green. Dan just chuckled, in a way that was highly unlike him. Apparently, Danny theorized, being locked up in the Thermos hadn't helped Dark Danny any. Hell, it appeared to have unhinged his mind more. That probably wasn't a good thing.

"Oh, me, I apparently have a short memory." Dan chuckled.

The black ectoplasm blast shot from Dark Danny's eyes and blew Danny across the rooftops with a yell, Danny crashing against the far beam with a resounding thud, dust sifting down onto the audience, though none of them noticed.

"I am beyond anything you could ever be, Danny. You only won last time by surprise and sheer chance. And I do not repeat myself…myself." Dan said, and chuckled madly again, another sign of his newly more lunatic state. Dark Danny hadn't had much of a sense of humor beforehand: he might chuckle bitterly or humorlessly, but not in the insane cackle he was currently using. "You act as if it's changed forever. You fool! Time works two ways! For most it is rigid and unyielding, and for the elite few, like us, it is fluid and malleable! You can't have it both ways! Our gift, our higher ability…it let you do away with the event that made us child…but you forget: if you were able to pull time away from our destiny, I am quite capable of pulling it back!"

"…No." Danny whispered, as he finally realized just why Dark Danny was here.

"Oh yes boy. We will be born. The rest…well, look below us. Look at what is gathered. All that is precious to you. And Lancer." Dan laughed. "Nasty Burger, ballet performance, it's all good! The roads may twist and turn, but they all end in the same place! With my birth, my rule, my dominance, my godhood! I, Dan Phantasmagoria!"

Silence.

"…You WHAT?" Vlad said.

"Well, Dan Phantom doesn't exactly have a lot of punch. And there's not much to do sealed in a thermos except think! But it's a new day now, and hence, a new name! I am Dan Phantasmagoria, the mightiest ghost of all!"

"Do you even know what phantasmagoria means? Can you even spell it, much less pronounce it?"

"Oh cut it out, me. It sounds cool. Details schetails, it's now my name!"

"AND NOW YOUR NAME IS MUD!" Danny bellowed.

Down below, Clara had snuck down to the Christmas tree at night…and found her toy nutcracker come to life. And the Mouse King. With a cracking shot, the battle between the two began.

Even as Danny, with his declaration, slammed his hands together and fired a giant green blast of ectoplasm straight at Dan Phantasmagoria's head.

Dan opened his mouth and ate the blast, swallowing it like ice cream.

"Mmmmmm, tasty." Dan declared. "You forget already boy? I am you! You are me! You think I'm capable of harming myself with my own energies? I'm not into self-abuse!"

"THEN JUST CALL ME A CUTTER!" Danny yelled as he charged, swinging madly at Dan, who laughed and fended him off with one hand.

"Ah yes, I remember these days, my choice of tactics…all confused and ineffective and backwards…"

And Dark Danny grabbed Danny's hand and yanked him downward, ramming a knee into Danny's stomach and knocking the wind out of him.

"And remember, dear me, mud spelled backwards is DUMB!" Dan finished, as he brought two fingers before Danny's face and ignited his own green ectoplasm shot. The blast went off and blew Danny across the room again, slamming into the same pillar. Stars danced in front of Danny's eyes, but he recovered swiftly. Couldn't wait, had to use it, before…

Dan dashed forward and slammed his fingers into Danny's throat. Spittle flew from Danny's mouth as his eyes went as wide as saucers.

"Like I said, I don't make the same mistake twice." Dan said, and grabbed Danny by the chest, sending reddish power tearing through him, Danny letting out a scream before he slumped, turning back into Danny Fenton. Good thing for him he was above the beam when that happened, which caused him to end up sitting on the wooden pillar and prevented him from falling down, as Dan laughed and raised his other hand.

"I'll just leave you here, tucked in a nice shield, so you can get a front row seat to the rest of your life." Dan laughed. "Believe me, it's the greatest gift you'll ever get. Merry Christmas."

And then a blast of power slammed into Dan's back. He jerked, and then growled, whirling around to face Vlad.

"Perhaps you are some twisted form of me from some dystopic future, but I know one thing: you are NOTHING like ME!" Vlad yelled, as he called more purple ectoplasm. "And while I could care less to what happens to that blasted child, NO ONE INTERRUPTS MY SHOW!" Vlad yelled, as he fired another piercing blast of power.

Dan chuckled and held up his hand. The blast flew into it, stopped dead…and then sank into Dan Phantasmagoria's palm, vanishing entirely.

"You don't pay attention, me." Dan chastised. "I got caught up in what I was doing, wasn't expecting your first shot. That's the only reason it worked. The powers you command, I mastered long ago. The energy you command is mine as well, and just like him, me, I can easily absorb it! You had one shot and you wasted it! Nice going, me!" Dan laughed, and then his eyes narrowed viciously.

"Unfortunately for you, the opposite doesn't hold."

Vlad's eyes widened.

"Oh, steamed carrots!"

Dan snapped out his hand and fired a black blast that blew Vlad across the roof this time.

"Now if you don't mind, I have a future to ensure." Dan laughed, and then, to truly drive the point home that he'd gone a bit mad, he started to sing.

"Oh, there's no earthly way of knowing, which direction we are going! There's no knowing where we're going, or which way the river's flowing! Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing! So the danger must be growing!" Dan said, as he thrust his hands above his head and began forming a massive ectoplasmic ball blast. Whatever his blast didn't take out, the collapse of the establishment would. "Are the fires of hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing? Yes, the danger must be growing, 'cause the goers keep on going, and they're certainly not showing, any signs that they are SLOWING!"

And then a flash of light erupted off from Dan's left.

"I KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING! OUTSIDE!" Danny yelled, back in Phantom mode as he flew across the roof and rammed into Dan Phantasmagoria, whose ecto-ball dissipated as Danny turned both himself and his evil future self intangible and flew out through the roof.

And down on the ground, the war between the Mouse King and Nutcracker ended, and the performance went onto a more peaceful setting.

* * *

Danny flew through the roof and some distance away before he let Dan go, stopping and zipping back, shoulders heaving. Dan Phantasmagoria looked around, and then, in an eerie mirror of Vlad, brushed himself off while chuckling. 

"Trying to take me away from our destiny, me? Please." Dan said. "It's a three hour performance! I could kick your ass 12 different ways and still be back in time to ensure my birth!"

A blast of purple ectoplasm exploded on the side of Dark Danny's head. The spirit blinked, and then grimaced.

"Then again…" He said, as Vlad flew up next to Danny.

"Daniel, my boy, you and I may not get along, but for each of our own reasons, we don't want that freak…who claims he's us, causing trouble."

"You have no idea." Danny said gravely.

"Truce?"

"For now." Danny said, as green power once again erupted on his hands.

Dan Phantasmagoria laughed.

"Well, isn't this interesting! Well, you know what they say! There's nothing more tragic, then a man destroying himself!" Dan laughed, and made a come hither gesture. "Come one, come all!"

Danny and Vlad attacked, Danny firing a two-handed tightly focused ectoblast while Vlad fired a one-handed wide purple blast. Dan laughed and threw up a shield in front of him with a wave of his hand, the attacks exploding on it before Dan came tearing through the explosions and at the pair of Halfas, slashing at them with his clawed hands. Danny and Vlad tried to block…and then Dark Danny phased through both of them, rematerializing behind them and ramming his elbows into both of their backs, causing them both to go spinning away through the air. As Danny tried to recover, Vlad did so, as he grabbed his cape and disappeared in a swirl of ectoplasm.

Dan Phantasmagoria stood still for a second, then snapped out his hand and grabbed Vlad by the throat as he reappeared next to the evil hybrid.

"Nice trick! But it's my trick too!" Dan laughed, and blasted Vlad in the face with red ectoplasmic eye beams, and as Vlad recoiled Dan held out his hand as green ectoplasm swirled around it and solidified into the form of a morning star, a spiked ball at the end of a chain and staff, a morning star Dan swung into the side of Vlad's head, sending him reeling across the sky.

Dan saw his younger self coming, and with a laugh the morning star elongated into a long whip, a whip he lashed out at Danny, Danny dodging through the air as he closed in and slammed a punch across his older self's face, and then another, and another…and then Dan snapped up his leg and kicked Danny away, far away enough that he could lash out his whip and wrap it around Danny, and with another laugh he spun and hurled Danny into Vlad as Vlad tried to make another attack.

"Oh come on now Daniel, surely you can do better then that!" Vlad cursed, as he pulled himself from the entanglement.

"It doesn't matter how well EITHER of you do! You can't fight fate!" Dan Phantasmagoria laughed, and then with a roar he opened his mouth as red energy glowed from within.

The explosion from the blast that erupted filled the whole sky and shook several city blocks, and a few seconds later Danny and Vlad came tumbling down, Danny hitting the street and bouncing twice before stopping while Vlad managed to land on his feet, his heels sliding across the road before he too stopped. He growled and looked down at his now battered outfit. That had been one hell of a blast…perhaps bigger then anything even Vlad could muster.

And Dan Phantasmagoria didn't seem drained in the least, as he flew down to the street.

"Have we had enough?" Dan asked, and laughed once more, seemingly never finding no amusement in his comments regard the fact he was the merged ghost essence of his opponents. Danny had theorized being locked in the Thermos had driven him slightly mad: maybe slightly didn't belong in the sentence at all.

Vlad looked over at Danny, who was lying dazed on the ground.

"Sigh. Forget the younger generation: these days we always have to rely on our own company!" Vlad declared, as he focused and split himself into four clones of himself.

"But that's all we need!" All four Vlads declared, and then all four shot ectoplasmic attacks at Dark Danny.

Who lifted up his hand and absorbed them all, one after the other.

"I keep forgetting." Dan said, as he lowered his hand. "Now…as for the other aspect of this little assault…is that the BEST you can do?"

And Dark Danny threw his hands into the air and then slammed his left clenched fist into his right open palm, and then Dan Phantasmagoria clones began erupting all over the place: around Dan, around Vlad, on the roofs above him and floating in the sky. All the Vlad shared the same look of utter shock. There had to be at least fifty of them.

"Naruto, eat your heart out." The original Dan declared, as energy erupted on all the Dan clones, as the original pointed at Vlad.

"OH, PLUM PUDDING!"

Danny fully came back to his senses by the massive series of blasts that erupted down the street, and as he was getting up a flaming car came flying at him, Danny yelping and doing an extreme version of the limbo to dodge it. Another crashed near the ground where he was standing, and as Danny watched Vlad's smoking body came flying from the devastation as well and landed near Danny's feet.

"He gets this from you, you know." Vlad commented.

The smoke cleared, as Dark Danny gestured and all his clones vanished.

"So much for experience." Dan commented. "How about youth and stupidity?"

Danny inhaled as he began the Ghostly Wail…

And Dark Danny crossed the distance between them before he could blink, slamming his fist into Danny's face and sending him flying across the street, and then, almost as an afterthought, even as Vlad rose and attempted to attack once more, he kicked Vlad in the side and sent him flying into and through the building on the side of the street, Vlad's entrance prompting a few screams of surprise from within as Dark Danny forgot about him and flew after Danny, who was getting up. With a yell of defiance and rage, Danny punched at him: Dark Danny blurred to the side to avoid it, and then again as Danny furiously attacked him, not landing one blow.

Dark Danny landed just one, but it counted, as he vanished into ectoplasmic mist and reappeared behind Danny, lifting both arms and chopping both hands down, slamming knife-edge chops into each side of Danny's neck.

Danny went stock still, and then collapsed, all his muscles having gone numb.

"I apparently don't do well there too. Makes me glad I'm me." Dan said, as he kicked Danny over. "Well my boy, time to wrap you up before I give you my gift…"

Vlad exploded from the building he had been hurled into, tearing down the street towards Dark Danny, as red ectoplasm erupted on his hand, as Dark Danny looked up at Vlad's latest charge and snickered again. He really was stubborn, as Vlad thrust back his hand…

And fired the blast into the ground, sending him shooting up into the air, as Dan's head snapped up at this. Blast, he was also more tactical then his other self, as Dark Danny flew up into the air after Vlad.

Vlad slammed his arm out, grabbed it with his other arm to brace himself, and then concentrated as hard as he could as a purple eye of power opened in his hand, energy gathering around it as Vlad prepared for the mother of all blasts.

Dark Danny grinned.

Vlad fired, shooting out a blast of power the size of the average garbage can.

As Dark Danny drew back his arm…

"DENIED!"

And slammed it against the blast, the two powers clashing against each other for a second…and then the blast was deflected away, flying off into the distance, and even as Vlad's mouth dropped at this Dark Danny was already in front of him.

"And hey, it's Christmas, gifts all around." Dan said, and punched Vlad in the gut, doubling him over, before he uppercutted Vlad across the forehead, fired repeated punches into his torso and face, and then kicked him with a snapping axe kick, causing Vlad to do a complete 360 spin in mid air…and found Dan's hand, pulsing with dark power, awaiting him when he was back in an upright position.

The black ectoplasm blast enveloped Vlad and exploded, sending him flying across the sky with a scream.

"Sigh. To think I was once so weak. Oh well, no need to beat myself up about it." Dan commented, and giggled again before turning to fly back to the ground.

* * *

The performance went to intermission, much to an immensely nervous Sam's worry. Danny had been gone a long time, and she had absolutely no idea how she was going to cover for him…unless she outright avoided the questions. That could buy her some time, as she tried to find Tucker while avoiding Danny's family, not an easy thing to do. 

Tucker was fiddling with his PDA when Sam found him and yanked him away, Sam claiming a hand over his mouth to muffle his yelp of surprise.

"Quiet! Danny's gone off on ghost business! We need to cover for him, or better yet, avoid anyone who wants to ask questions!" Sam whispered. Tucker blinked, then nodded, as the two of them spied Danny's mom and dad looking for him and began backing away before they turned around.

"A question Miss Manson." Mr. Lancer said, standing before them. Sam nearly jumped out of her skin. "Where is Mr. Fenton? If he is so ill that he could not return, we really should consider getting him medical help…because the only other option does not speak well for his grades." Mr. Lancer said.

"Uh…well um…you see Mr. Lancer…um…"

"There you are!" Came Maddie's voice. Sam began to wish she could disappear, as Maddie dragged Jack and Jazz over to Mr. Lancer. "Where is Danny? I can't find him anywhere."

"Um…he was sick!" Sam blurted. She then realized that was the wrong thing to say to Danny's mother.

"His stomach flu came back? Oh no! Where is he?" Maddie asked, looking worried. Fortunately, Jack and Mr. Lancer were looking at Maddie, so they didn't see Tucker start using his body language towards Jazz to indicate "Danny's on ghost business! Help us out here!" Much to Tucker's relief, Jazz understood almost immediately, and nodded.

"Uh…he had to run…looking for a bathroom…I kind of lost him…" Sam sputtered.

"You lost him? What kind of a friend are you?" Maddie snapped. Sam wanted to die.

"He has been gone for a while. We'd best look for him." Mr. Lancer said. Sam's eyes filled with fear.

"Um…I think he went this way!" Sam said, pointing, as Danny's parents began to look for him. _Hurry Danny!

* * *

_

Dan Phantasmagoria touched down on the ground…and was amazed to find what he did.

"My my. You got up?" Dan said, looking at his younger self, wobbly-kneed and in pain but back up, all things considered. "You go, me!"

Danny fired a spray of ectoplasm. Dark Danny absorbed it all with his hands.

"Of course, you're only going one place." Dan continued, and zapped at Danny, snapping out his knee as he slammed it into Danny's face, sending the teenaged Halfa flying down the street, as Dan Phantasmagoria warped away from where he was and back behind Danny, spinning around and catching Danny in mid-flight with a powerful roundhouse, sending Danny crashing back into the ground.

"Straight to our destiny." Dan said, as he reached down and clasped onto Danny, as ectoplasmic chains began to form on him. "Oh…all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth…"

A blast of power slammed into Dan's blind spot, and he jerked and whirled around.

"Oh still have some in you old…" Dark Danny said, and then his eyes widened. "Oops."

A myriad of blasts came raining down on Dan Phantasmagoria, and he vanished in explosions.

Danny's senses fully returned as he became aware that he was being set down…by...

"SKULKER?" Danny exclaimed, as he saw that it was indeed the ghost hunter setting him down. It had also been the ghost hunter who had snuck in behind Dark Danny and grabbed Danny away from the barrage that had consumed the evil hybrid.

"Do not think this changes anything ghost boy, but I'll be damned if my greatest prey is claimed by someone else."

"Yes Skulker, but for now, try and remember the priority." Vlad said as he floated down next to Danny. "Still in one piece I see, my dear Daniel. Well, considering our opponent, I guess that's not surprising…"

And Danny realized it wasn't just Vlad and Skulker. Oh no.

He was standing in front of nearly every ghost enemy he had. Skulker, Technus, Walker, Spectra and Bertrand, Ember, Youngblood, Johnny 13 and Kitty, Desiree, the Lunch Lady, and of course, the Box Ghost. They didn't look very happy…but their unhappiness wasn't directed at him.

"…Huh?" He said.

"Oh come now Daniel. You really must learn some tactical knowledge if you ever want to progress past a child playing games." Vlad said. "Our little battle has, shall we say, ruined the meal these spirits came to the Nutcracker for. They're not happy about that. So I popped over and offered them a direction for that anger, because this is a battle we are only having because of him. It's all about learning strategy…"

"I have." Came Dan's voice from the smoke, as it cleared, revealing Dark Danny relatively unharmed. "Well, well, the gang's all here. What a Christmas! Not only do I ensure my birth, I get to destroy you losers all over again!"

"Who you calling a loser, you fashion reject?" Ember snapped.

"Who is this guy, Danny Phantom's evil brother or something?" Youngblood asked.

"That's MR. Phantom to you, whelp." Dan said. "It was what you called me before I got bored of you and destroyed you."

"What?"

"Daniel, I may have called these spirits together under the banner of their Christmas truce, which usually happens later but they're willing to make an exception this year due to the way our…self has wrecked their Nutcracker experience…but you seem to know this miscreancy better: perhaps you could enlighten us to just what he's talking about?"

Danny blinked, and then he turned to face his normal foes.

"That's me, and Vlad, combined in a black future that never happened…unless we let him bring it about. A future where he destroyed most of you for kicks. He took your voice…" Danny said, indicating Ember. "…Your legs…" Johnny. "Your senses of self…" Technus and Skulker. "Your very existence! And if you let him, well, you heard him, he'll do it all over again!"

For a moment, Vlad almost looked proud.

"Ah Danny, you will prove to be a worthy opponent yet."

"…GET HIM!" Someone yelled, and all the ghosts surged around Danny and Vlad and mass-attacked Dark Danny. Danny took a deep breath, steeling himself for more battle, and then whirled to join the fight.

And found Vlad's hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"What? Hey Vlad, let me go!"

"Hold off Mr. Fenton!"

"Forget it! Maybe you manipulated them into helping us, but I sure won't let them fight alone!"

"All you'll do is give him more of our energy to feed off, you fool!" Vlad snapped. "We need a plan! And since your usefulness stops at motivation, I have to be the one making it! Now listen!"

Much to his dislike, Danny stopped to do so.

"Now, how did you beat him last time?"

"I used my Ghostly Wail, but I developed that on the spot and caught him off guard: he won't let me use it again. Then I put him in a Thermos and…locked him up, it's complicated."

"So he IS capable of being beaten…ok Daniel, here's what you're going to do. Do you have a Thermos?"

"No, and it didn't hold him last time. But that doesn't matter, I know where I can get one."

"Where?"

"My house. My dad's been working on a few Thermos variants, including a stronger one to hold stronger ghosts. It's just a prototype…but if we can get him in it, it might actually hold him."

"Are you certain?"

"My dad built it to hold you." Danny said. Vlad blinked.

"…Very well! Go get that Thermos! I will coordinate the attack with…"

"AUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Came the bellow, and then all the ghosts of Amity Park were tossed and blown away as Dark Danny called upon his power and cast them away from their mass attack. "You weaklings! It doesn't matter if you know your fates! It is inevitable! I shall reign supreme, and you shall all be crushed under my boot! IT IS MY…"

Danny and Vlad's combined ecto-blast caught Dark Danny in the chest and sent him flying down the street.

"Well at least our shots still work if he's not concentrating on absorbing them." Vlad said. "Go get the Thermos Daniel! We don't have much time!"

"Why do I have to get the Thermos?"

"One, I don't know where it is, two, truce aside, I generally have a more…amicable relationship with these ghosts then you do, and I don't think they'll like being ordered around by the boy who keeps beating them and banishing them!"

"…All right." Danny said. "But you better hold the line Vlad, because if you don't, and my family and friends get hurt, then we won't have to beat the bastard, because I'll kill you first and make sure he never exists." Danny said, and took off into the sky.

Vlad watched, stunned. He hadn't thought Danny had it in him to make such a threat.

And then Dark Danny flew into the sky, trading blasts with several ghosts, and Vlad watched for a moment before he flew up after them to direct the attack.

* * *

"Danny? Are you in here? Danny?" Tucker called through the bathroom. 

"Mr. Fenton, unless you are dying, I am going to be rather displeased if you don't show yourself now." Mr. Lancer said at the other end of the room.

"Danny? Come on son, if I have to watch this then you do too!" Jack said as he checked under the stalls. They did not find Danny, as Tucker expected.

"Polar Express! How many bathrooms can this Theatre have?" Mr. Lancer complained.

"Well, it is a large building, and it holds many performances, hence it should have a fair number of bathrooms…" Tucker began.

"I really didn't want an answer Mr. Foley, as we should have located Daniel by now and the fact we haven't is beginning to arouse my suspicions." Mr. Lancer said, as the men left the room.

"He's not in there either?" Maddie asked. "Where is he?"

"Um…hey maybe he somehow slipped past us all and is back in his seat!" Jazz suggested.

"You mean we have to trek all the way across the theatre again?" Jack groaned, but the group started doing just that.

* * *

Elsewhere, a group of kids were arguing in front of a snowman. 

"It's stupid! It just happened in a dumb show! And you're stupid to believe it!" One of the larger kids taunted, addressing his comments to a slightly younger child holding a top hat.

"Well even if he doesn't come to life, we can still put the hat on him!"

"He won't come to life! You're so stupid!"

"I don't care!" The kid proclaimed, and placed the top hat on the snowman.

…Nothing happened.

"Hah! Told you so!" The larger kid said.

And then the snowman's eyes opened.

"…It worked! He came to life!" The smaller kid celebrated.

And then the snowman's mouth opened…revealing fangs and a snake-like tongue.

"GRAHHHHHHHHHH!" Dan Phantasmagoria growled. The kids screamed and ran for their lives as Dan animated the snowman up and chased them a bit before he let them escape.

"FROSTY KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE!" Dan growled, and laughed as he shook the snow off.

And then he felt the presence behind him, and turned to see Skulker standing there.

"…Why do you terrorize them?" Skulker asked. "They have no use as prey! And we are in mid-battle! What is the purpose of such an action?"

"…Heh heh heh. Fun." Dan replied. Skulker's eyes narrowed. "And what do you care anyway?"

"…It does not matter! For you have not even begun to see the full extent of my powers!" Skulker declared, as every single weapon in his suit snapped up and armed.

"Awwwww, you went all out for your gift." Dan replied.

A multitude of attacks exploded from Skulker and flew towards Dark Danny…

"But I'm afraid…" Dark Danny said as he raised his arms…and tore open a portal to the Ghost Zone between himself and Skulker, the weapons and blasts flying into it as the portal closed.

"I have to return it!"

And Dark Danny slammed out his hand and a new portal appeared before him, as all of Skulker's shots flew out of it and back towards the ghost hunter, exploding on him with an angry bellow.

"But remember, it's the thought that counts." Dan taunted.

The car rammed into Dark Danny from behind, and as Dark Danny flew up from the impact and rolled along the car hood before he smashed into the windshield the car drove by Skulker's downed form and crashed into an electronics shop.

"Well done Technus. Good thing there was a computer in that car." Vlad said from the sky. He noticed motion from the side, and turned, thinking Danny was back.

It wasn't Danny. It was a new ghost Vlad had never seen.

"…Um…yes?" Vlad said.

"I'm Ghost Writer! I heard there was something about a Christmas fight going on here?" Ghost Writer asked. Vlad arched an eyebrow.

"Um…there's a fight going on, though it doesn't have anything to do with Christmas…"

Dark Danny picked himself up off the floor as all the TV screens turned on to show Technus' face.

"In these modern times, a good Christmas is all about who gets the best toys! This is your lucky year, because I, Technus, don't care if you've been naughty or nice!"

And a DVD player floated up and flew into the back of Dark Danny's head, sending him stumbling.

"Great stuff this year!" Technus proclaimed from his televisions as he barraged Dark Danny with electronics. "X-Box 360's!"

Several of those hit Dan in the face.

"Robot toys!"

A bunch of those peppered Dark Danny's back.

"TV phones! Can you hear me now?"

Dan's skull was introduced to a few dozen of said phones.

"Still don't know what this is!" Technus said as he hit Dark Danny with the strange antenna like device. "And hey, why not top it off with a new flat screen TV!"

Which Technus smashed over Dark Danny's head.

And then plugged in.

"Argghhhhh!" Dark Danny roared as he was shocked…and then the TV exploded as arcing blasts of black power erupted from Dan Phantasmagoria's body and tore through the whole room, ripping every single piece of merchandise to shreds…and tossing Technus out of his wall of TV's, as he fell to the floor.

A shadow fell over him, as he looked up.

"I see you!"

Dark Danny's punch sent Technus flying out of the electronics store, across the street, and crashing through a convenience store on the other side.

"Now you're sleeping." Dark Danny finished, as he flew out of the ruined store.

Only to get hit by the combined blasts of Spectra, Youngblood, and Johnny 13, sending him flying down the street. He crashed into a car, and then Ember flew down from the ground and jammed a powerful chord on her guitar, as energy coursed out from the instrument, seized each end of the car, and crushed it around Dark Danny.

"Wow! This is an amazing fight! It must be captured for posterity!" Ghost Writer said. Vlad had by now decided to ignore the inscribing spirit and return to giving orders, as Ghost Writer summoned his Quantum Keyboard.

**_Uh oh…_**

Ghost Writer interlaced and cracked his fingers, even as Dark Danny floated out of the car wreckage and turned tangible again. Almost immediately, the giant hand of Desiree came smashing down on top of him.

"On a crisp winter day, lacking snow but not sun, just why I can't say, but a battle has…"

**_Hold it! HOLD IT!_**

"What?" Ghost Writer said.

**_I said no rhyming! And I mean it! It just makes me feel how very far away I am from Gilbert and Sullivan! It's in the contract!_**

"I WILL NOT BE CENSORED!" Ghost Writer declared, and resumed typing. "Many ghosts came to fight, and to get beaten…"

**_Purple!_**

"Purple! It could last till this night, and then…we…ARGH NOTHING RHYMES WITH PURPLE!" Ghost Writer said, as he inexplicably yanked a length of paper from his Quantum Keyboard and crumbled it up.

**_That should keep him busy for a bit…_**

Dan Phantasmagoria flew away from Desiree's follow up swipe, smirking wickedly.

"You know, I could just wish for you to go find the nearest pine tree and do a running face-first dive into it." Dan said. Desiree's eyes went wide.

"You wouldn't DARE!"

"…Nope." Dark Danny said, and then he was suddenly in front of Desiree. "Where's the fun in that?"

Dark Danny's kick nearly took Desiree's head off as she crashed into the street, as Danny laughed, leapt as red power appeared on his hand, spun back his arm…

And Johnny 13 flew his motorcycle right into Dan's face, sending him flying down the street and crashing into a nearby supermarket, as Johnny hit the ground and streaked to a stop.

"Sorry, couldn't find any reindeer, Grandma." Johnny quipped, as Kitty shook her head behind him.

"Not only is your luck bad Johnny, your witticisms are too!"

"Hey, be nice, it's Christmas!"

Dark Danny pulled himself out of the pile of canned tomatoes he had crashed into, growling as screaming shoppers fled from the store.

And then the Lunch Lady popped up from the floor.

"Oh what do YOU want? I dropped out of school a decade ago!"

"There are more then a few ways meals are important dearie." The Lunch Lady said. "And meals around this time have a special significance. You could mess that up. We have to have a talk about that."

And then her eyes blazed.

"SO LET'S TALK TURKEY!"

And a nearby freezer opened and barraged Dan with giant frozen turkeys, and as Dark Danny sputtered and tried to defend himself the Lunch Lady thrust up her other arm.

"AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, LET'S HAM IT UP!" The Lunch Lady declared, as large hams were called to her, forming another meat monster body around her. "Now, prepare to face the extra HOLIDAY POUNDS OF DOOM!"

The Lunch Lady's meat fists slammed down where Dark Danny had just been, as Dark Danny flew back, his tongue lashing about as he snarled loudly and split into five clones of himself, all of them zapping around the Lunch Lady before she could react.

"Get ready for an ass kicking with all the trimmings!" Dan Phantasmagoria declared, and all of them zapped the Lunch Lady, blowing her body to bits, as one Dark Danny kicked her out of the supermarket before they all re-merged and flew out.

"The ghosts all attacked him…" Ghost Writer wrote, back in the groove. "They stung him like a…"

**_Wasp!_**

"Wasp! It raised quite a din, in which people…were………………ARGH NOTHING RHYMES WITH WASP EITHER!" Ghost Writer yelled, ripping out his paper once more.

Dark Danny's greeter when he exited the supermarket was the black fiery form of Spectra, as she fired a two-handed blast down on Dark Danny.

Dan whacked it aside like it meant nothing.

"Stick to psychologically tormenting teenagers." Dan said, and blew her out of the sky. Arriving a second too late to save his mistress, Bertrand growled and transformed into a bull and charged at Dark Danny. Dark Danny just grabbed him by the horns and hurled him over his head into the supermarket.

"Can't any of you here offer anything in way of a challenge?"

"You forget about me!"

Vlad's diving kick staggered Dark Danny, as Vlad followed it up with a storm of punches, knocking Dan across the street and into the wall of a building.

"But from the sky came Vlad…" Ghost Writer, once again on track, wrote. "Like Santa…"

**_Down the chimney!_**

"Down the chimney! And much less fun was had, for Dark Danny's…ARGH NOT AGAIN NOTHING RHYMES WITH CHIMNEY!" Ghost Writer raged, tearing at his hair.

Vlad called purple ectoplasm to his hand and charged at Dark Danny, aiming for his chest…and slamming his fist into the wall as Dan dodged to the side, spinning around Vlad, grabbing the back of his head, and slamming Vlad face first into the brick wall. As Vlad staggered, Dark Danny leapt and slammed both feet into the small of Vlad's back, sending him crashing through the wall as Dark Danny flew back, landed on his hands, did a few arcing flips and then landed on his feet.

Only to find Ember standing in front of him.

"Oh, look, the would be artist! What are you going to do, barrage my eardrums with a song that'll be as forgettable as Kwanzaa?"

"Actually, thought I'd do an old classic." Ember said, as she raised her arm.

"Yeah well, I hate carolers!" Dan replied, and shot energy from his eyes. Ember leapt up to dodge it, as she slashed her hand down.

"Jingle bell!"

A blast of power lashed out and caught Dark Danny.

"Jingle bell!"

Another one.

"Jingle bell!"

A third one, sending him staggering back.

"ROCK!" Youngblood declared as he dropped the giant boulder he had picked up via his hook right on Dark Danny's head. Ember smirked.

The rock exploded into pieces, and Youngblood yelped and dashed away as Dark Danny flew up, furious.

"SCREW YOU AND THE ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH YOU RODE IN ON!" Dan bellowed, and fired a giant two-handed black ectoblast that blasted the two young ghosts away.

Dark Danny turned around to find Spectra and Bertrand, once more.

"Oh what's this, twice the degree of pathetic?"

"More like…" Spectra said, as Bertrand's body began to shift and change once more…into a giant gun that fell into Spectra's arms. "Double the pleasure, double the fun."

The red ecto-blast was barely stopped by a shield Dark Danny threw up. The second shot shattered the shield and sent Dark Danny flying across the sky.

"Spectra was angry!" Ghost Writer wrote, as you might have guessed. "Maybe…"

**_It's that time of the month!_**

"It's that time of the month! If that's true I can't see, for I….I….ARGH I DON'T BELIEVE IT NOTHING RHYMES WITH MONTH!"

**_Good lord he's persistent._**

Dark Danny shook his head in time to see Skulker rise up before him, his weapons out once more.

"I'm back, whelp, and I'm the last thing you'll ever see!" Skulker declared. Dark Danny watched for a second…and then his eyes slid behind him as Spectra flew up, aiming her gun for another shot.

"…Wrong." Dark Danny said, and transformed into a vaporous ectoplasmic gas.

Which all of Skulker's weapons went through. Spectra's eyes went wide, and then she was consumed with explosions, as Dark Danny laughed and reformed.

"Argh! I don't miss twice b…hey!" Skulker yelled as Dark Danny flew back down towards the ground, as the evil hybrid went intangible and phased through a door of a brownstone. Skulker turned intangible as well and followed…

Only to meet Dark Danny's fist. Skulker staggered backwards, and then Dark Danny hit him again, causing him to crash against the door of the house and smash it to splinters. The wreath flew off, and on a lark Dan Phantasmagoria grabbed it out of the air, wrapped it around his fist, and punched Skulker with it so hard he nearly knocked his head off, as Skulker flew across the street and through the window of another house.

"Hah! Someone just got decked with a bough of holly!" Dan commented, and tossed the ruined wreath down.

"The evil one ruled the battle!" Ghost Writer wrote. "His teeth flashed like…"

**_Silver!_**

"Silver! His foes ran like cattle! He was as if…ARGH WHAT IS IT WITH COLORS NOTHING RHYMES WITH SILVER!"

"Anyone else want a glimpse of the future?" Dark Danny asked.

The roar of a motorcycle sounded behind Dan, and he turned and blasted energy from his eyes, shooting…a riderless motorcycle, as Johnny 13 and Kitty phased up behind the now turned around Danny, carrying something…a Christmas tree, and fully decorated at that.

"Shadow!" Johnny commanded, as his silhouette on the ground sprang to life. "…DECORATE!"

"Hmmmmm?" Dan said as he turned around…and then Johnny's shadow was on him. Dark Danny struggled for a bit…and then the shadow leapt off, reconnecting back to Johnny's feet.

And revealing that Dark Danny was now covered in Christmas ornaments swiped from the tree, complete with lights and the star on top of his head.

Dan's eyes flicked upward, and then back towards his opponent.

"Ok…what the hell? Really! What the hell is this supposed to do? Are you expecting me to sprout roots and get stuck here? Has inhaling too many motorcycle fumes rotted your brain?"

"Hey man, it was her idea." Johnny 13 said.

As Desiree appeared from the ground next to Kitty, who gave a snarling grin, as Dan put two and two together.

"Desiree, I wish every single ornament on his body was filled with nitroglycerine!" Kitty yelled, pointing.

"Oh, Mars Bars." Dan said.

"So shall you wish it, so shall it BE!" Desiree declared, as she thrust out her arms.

"Shadow, shove!" Johnny ordered, and Johnny's shadow tore off his feet and barreled at Dark Danny.

The explosion shook the whole street, and Johnny 13's shadow, torn up and whimpering, retreated back to Johnny's feet.

"Good job shadow! You got the…" Johnny said, as the smoke cleared.

Revealing an intangible Dark Danny, floating above the crater. The three ghosts gaped at him.

"Hmmmm, right, what am I the most powerful of again, wait wait…on the tip of my tongue…oh yes, GHOSTS. Ghosts who can turn INTANGIBLE. Too much talking, not enough walking, wish girl." Dark Danny said, and slammed out his hands, firing a spray of ecto-blasts that consumed the three ghosts.

"Quantity has absolutely nothing to do with quality, morons." Dan Phantasmagoria said, and turned around.

To find one of the ghosts that had been missing until then: Walker. And the reason was quite clear. He'd gone to get help. Specifically, his entire cadre of guards from his prison.

"Wouldn't speak so soon punk." Walker said, Bullet by his side. "The best way to celebrate this season is to keep things in an orderly fashion. You're screwing everything up. That's against the rules."

And all the guard ghosts pounced on Dark Danny, burying him beneath a storm of swinging batons.

"A scene straight from _Oz!_" Ghost Writer wrote.

**_Is he STILL going?_**

"A show with true…"

**_Depth!_**

"Depth! Ow, right in the schnozz! My pulse has just…leapt…wait no doesn't quite….ARGH ARGH ARGH WHAT IS IT WITH THESE WORDS THAT WON'T RHYME!"

**_And he thought he had it bad with orange._**

"ARRRRGHHHHHHH!" Dark Danny roared, and the guards exploded off Dark Danny, and he erupted upward and began blasting, kicking, punching, and crushing any part of their bodies he could get his hands on. "When I'm done with your elves, YOU'RE NEXT KRINGLE!"

"Better use the big one." Walker commented, and as Dan continued to trash the rest of the guards Bullet pulled a gigantic taser-looking device.

**_Oh no, he's back already!_**

"The size of the weapon!" Ghost Writer wrote, feverishly trying to complete something before the voice in his head tripped him up. "Like the horn of a…"

**_Uh, uh…rhinoceros!_**

"Rhinoceros! Wielded by Walker's pawn, it would burn like…phosphorus! HAH! SOMETHING RHYMES WITH RHINOCEROS! IN YOUR FACE YOU HACK!" Ghost Writer taunted.

**_Hack? That's it! Bring it on you wannabe Edgar Allan Poe!_**

"Come down here and say that!"

**_Gladly!_**

The pink elf popped down from the top of the screen and jumped Ghost Writer, and the two vanished into a whirling dust ball of fists and feet that fell down to the ground and bounced down the street.

* * *

"We have checked every bathroom in this building, and we have found no sign of Danny. I must conclude that…" Mr. Lancer began. 

The fighting dust cloud bounced past the gathered friends and family of Danny.

The group stopped dead, staring after the strange sight.

"A Wish For Wings That Work! What was…" Lancer began.

"Amnesia dust!" I said as he came back and blew dust in the character's faces, and then dove off screen to return to the fight, as the characters stood in confusion.

"…Ok…what were we doing again?" Lancer asked.

"Searching the bathrooms?" Tucker suggested.

"…Yes…yes we should do that." Lancer said as the group began walking off.

* * *

The fighting dust cloud bounced out of the theatre and went up and down the streets of Amity Park for a while before I finally got a choke-hold on Ghost Writer and made him pass out. How he passed out considering he's a ghost and doesn't need to breathe is a question I'll leave YOU to figure out. 

"Blasted Hartmann…has to make a character like this, make my life difficult…" I said as I tossed Ghost Writer into a garbage dumpster and weighed down the lid, putting an Anti-Ghost shield around it for good measure before I headed back to the fight. "Interrupting my story, a little self referential humor is good but I'll bet a few readers are asking me to get on with it…"

"Gin." Dan Phantasmagoria said as he laid down his cards. The ghost guards groaned, as Bullet threw his cards down in anger.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" I said.

"Oh look, the author's back, never mind she abandoned us right in mid-scene. What did you want us to do, stand around?" Dark Danny asked, indicating the card game he was now playing with Walker and his guards.

"Doing such a thing is against the rules." Walker added.

"Oh shut up! Get back into position! Go back into character! And be thankful I don't…" **_drop the whole smartass lot of you down a well! Back to the story! No more interruptions!_**

"You're too kind." Dark Danny said, as he cracked his neck…

* * *

…And slammed a guard ghost head first into the ground before he kicked the last one away. 

Just as Bullet jumped in and jammed the giant taser like device into Dark Danny's chest. Dan jerked as debilitating power coursed through him, even as Walker pulled a rifle from somewhere and shot a net that wrapped around Dark Danny.

"My, what a lovely present to put under my tree." Walker commented.

Dark Danny's eyes blazed.

"YOU'LL NEED TO WRAP ME TIGHTER THEN THAT!" Dan roared, and blasted the net off him like it was made of nothing, causing Bullet to stumble backwards. He leapt to zap Dan again, but Dan caught him in mid-air with a powerful blast that blew him away and past Walker, who looked very displeased. Dan grinned at him.

"Oh don't look so self-important punk. I've seen your breed before, hopped up on your own ego and thinking you know everything…"

"Know everything? Oh no warden. I don't know everything. I just know everything that matters. What matters is what I want! And what I want, is EVERYTHING!"

"Would that include a bullet from this gun?" Walker said, as he drew his personal sidearm.

Dark Danny smirked.

"Sure thing Morpheus."

Walker fired, a direct head shot.

That passed through Dan's gaseous form, as he flowed over and reformed in front of him.

"I know kung fu." Dan said, and kicked Walker through a building to prove it. "Goodbye, Mr. Warden."

Dark Danny turned around once more.

As Vlad tore down the street and slammed an energy charged punch into Dark Danny's face. Dark Danny flew across the street once more and crashed through a double set of doors, tumbling into a very large building that was completely dark inside.

Dark Danny came to a stop, rubbing his jaw.

"Heh. I know desperation and a last stand when I feel it. Looks like I've just about run out of tricks…"

A red snort of air escaped from Dan's nose, and he turned around, igniting a red flame on his hand to see.

His opponent, much to his amazement, made his entrance wordlessly.

"…THE BOX GHOST?" Dan said, and roared with laughter. "Are you the last one sent to face me? Because you're the only one I didn't trash? I thought I was smarter then that! HAH! THE BOX GHOST! THE BOX GHOST!" Dan howled.

And then a light switch turned on, and the whole room was suddenly awash in light, revealing itself to be a gigantic warehouse.

Filled to the brim with boxes, of all shapes and sizes, most made of metal and wood, stacked to the ceiling and filling the entire room, boxes as far as the eye could see.

Dark Danny abruptly stopped laughing.

As the Box Ghost grinned wickedly.

"BEWARE."

* * *

It sounded like someone had unleashed an entire zoo inside the warehouse from the outside, a racket that went on for nearly twenty seconds before it stopped. 

The Box Ghost popped out of the ceiling and flew off.

And nearly ten seconds later Dan exploded from the ceiling, utterly furiously that of all the people who had gotten the drop on him it had been the Box Ghost the bugger had even dropped a box on him before he could turn intangible he was going to…

"NOW!"

A storm of blasts flew across the sky and caught Dark Danny, and he yelled in surprise, caught off guard again due to his anger.

"Hit him high!" Vlad ordered, and several of the ghosts fired concentrated blasts that sent Dark Danny reeling through the air. Dan had been right about Vlad making a final stand…but not right enough.

"Hit him low!"

Several other ghosts shot their own blasts, catching Dark Danny on the legs and sending him spinning around again.

"HIT HIM HARD!" Vlad commanded, and fired his own twin-handed blue blast as every ghost near him did likewise. The blast exploded through the sky and sent Dark Danny falling to the ground like a comet, crashing down and caving in a section of the street.

Vlad flew down, and the ghosts assembled behind him.

"Last call! CHARGE!" Vlad ordered, and the ghosts surged forward, Vlad at the front. "You're going down, you pathetic excuse for a Phantom!" Vlad declared.

As Dark Danny exploded from the crater, red eyes blazing.

"**_ENOUGH!_**"

And Dark Danny cut loose with the Ghostly Wail, the immensely powerful sonic attack radiating out, tearing everything in front of it to pieces and sending it flying through the air.

It caught the ghosts before they could retreat, and more then half of them were immediately hurled away, the rest only able to resist a few seconds before they too were hurled back, their bodies battered under the immense forces.

"NO! I WILL NOT…FALL…TO THIS…PERVERTED…OH CANDY CANES!" Vlad roared as his guard broke and he was swept away like the rest.

Dark Danny cut off the wail, and as debris crashed to the ground before him, he chuckled once more.

"That's MR. Phantom to you." Dan said, and snickered. "You were good kid, real good. Thanks for the gift of letting me relive history. How often do you get exactly what you want for Christmas?" Dark Danny asked, and chuckled again.

His chuckling cut off, as he sensed it, his eyes peering over his shoulder.

Danny stood there, finally back, but not in enough time. The new Thermos was at his side, his hands held loosely there as well, his face grim.

Dan Phantasmagoria chuckled and turned around, a flicker of power passing over him and mending his damaged suit.

"Well, I'm back." Dan said. "Come to see the beginning of the end, Danny?"

"I know how this ends." Danny said, as he unsnapped the Thermos. "You. In this."

Danny tossed the Thermos aside and clenched his fists. Dan cocked his head.

"I remember being this stubborn." Dan said. "Though I thought I had enough intelligence to understand. There's only one place this is going to go, me."

"I'm not you! I'LL NEVER BE YOU!" Danny yelled. "AND YOU, YOU FREAK, ARE GOING DOWN IN HISTORY!"

Dark Danny just ran a finger under his nose and snorted disdainfully.

Danny took to the air, lancing towards his evil future self, as almost in slow motion he cocked back his fist to throw a punch.

* * *

"Mrs. Fenton, I think we may have to accept that your son has skipped out on this performance." Mr. Lancer said. 

"Oh…Danny! I thought you were stronger then that!" Maddie said, her voice filled with disappointment. Jazz's heart went out to her mother…and to Danny. Neither was at fault, and yet…it was probably going to cost the both of them, whatever Danny had chosen to do.

"I suggest we head back to the front of the Theatre. Miss Manson, you will go check if Mr. Fenton has somehow slipped past us and returned to his seat. If he has not, we will have to begin looking for him elsewhere…and considering punishment if and when we find him."

"Man…" Jack said bitterly (and mostly to himself) as the group began to trudge back. "I wanted to skip the ballet, but not like this. Where are you Danny? What could be so important you'd do this to your family?"

* * *

"AUUURAAAAGGHHHH!" Danny screamed as he was blasted across the street, smashing into a mailbox, but he was back up and attacking almost immediately, firing angry, pounding fists at Dan Phantasmagoria. 

Dan avoided them easily and grabbed Danny's arm, flipping Danny over him and onto the ground, as he tried to stomp on his head. Danny rolled away from the kick and leapt up, thrusting his foot into Dark Danny's chest, sending him staggering sideways near the sideway. Growling, Dark Danny blasted ectoplasm from his eyes, catching Danny in the legs and causing him to fall to the ground.

As Dark Danny seized a motorcycle parked at the curve and lifted it up like it was a baseball bat, swinging the vehicle up and then down as he tried to smash Danny below it.

Danny phased through it, leaping up and spinning as he turned tangible again, catching Dan twice across the face with roundhouse kicks, and as he landed he fired a quick blast of ectoplasm from his hand…as Dark Danny caught it and fired it right back, blasting Danny across the street again.

Dan stood up fully, and glancing over, he spied the discarded Thermos. A delicious idea struck him: how better to prevent Danny from thwarting his destiny then locking him in the same device that had imprisoned his own self? Dan chuckled and held out his hand, calling the Thermos to him as he floated over to the fallen Danny.

"Since you were so nice to set me up in such…lovely accommodations, it's only fair I return the favor!" Dark Danny declared, and thrust the Thermos out.

**PLEASE ENTER PASSCODE**.

"What?" Dan yelled, looking at the Thermos as it refused to open.

"Looks like you don't remember me as well AS YOU THOUGHT!" Danny yelled, as he sprang up and plunged both his fists into Dan's gut, and then cracked him across the jaw, causing Dan to loose his grip on the Thermos, as Danny jumped up and slammed both his feet into Dan's face, sending him flying backwards…

Onto the hood of the car that was stopping in a shriek of brakes. Danny had forgotten they were fighting in the street, as he stared in horror at the occupants of the automobile: a mother and two boys, both pre-teens.

As Dark Danny suddenly turned intangible and phased through the hood of the car…and then the car suddenly lifted off the ground, the woman and children beginning to scream as Dark Danny hefted it, his red eyes blazing once more.

"WAIT! NO! NO!" Danny yelled.

Dan hurled the car straight at Danny.

As Danny leapt up and phased through the car, grabbing all three occupants and turning them ethereal as well, the car crashing down to the street as Danny phased out the other end and turned human again, dropping his three rescued people on the ground.

And looking up to see Dark Danny charging black ectoplasm in both hands.

"I'm an idiot." Dan said, and fired.

Danny didn't even think about it, as he threw himself in front of the humans.

The explosion rattled the whole block, throwing the mother and her children backwards from the shockwave, but only a short distance, and as she stopped and her children crawled to her, she looked with wide eyes at where Danny had stood.

He was revealed, standing, his arms crossed, his outfit now torn to shreds, as he agonizingly lowered his arms and looked behind him.

"Run." He whispered.

Dark Danny punched Danny into the sky, and then zipped up and kicked Danny back into the ground with a resounding crash. Danny lay there, groaning and trying not to turn human again.

"I knew you'd save those humans, worthless meat sacks. I'm so glad I got rid of all that nonsense so long ago. It's so liberating. But you'll see for yourself…"

Danny lunged up, inhaling…

Dark Danny punched him in the throat before he could get off the Ghostly Wail.

"That's not GOING, to WORK." Dan declared, and kicked Danny across the street again, as he bounced over to a plus-shaped cross-section of roads.

Dark Danny retrieved the Thermos again, tossing it up and down in one hand as he walked over to Danny, who was fighting to get up. He looked at Danny and then at the Thermos, and then back at Danny.

"…Nah. Changed my mind." Dan said, tossing the Thermos away. "Why do it my way, when I can do it…MY WAY!"

Danny lunged at Dan with a punch. Dan easily avoided, laughing.

"And considering the season, I'll even holiday it up! Oh, on the first day of my life, my future gave to me…" Dan sang, and thrust out his hands.

"Twelve ecto-blasts!"

A stream of shots consumed Danny in explosions, and as he flew backwards Dan flew after him, catching up.

"Eleven torso bruises!" Dan said as he did a rapid-fire combo of punches into Danny's chest. Danny yelled once more, and then tried to counter-punch. Dan grabbed his hand, interlacing his fingers with Danny's, and doing the same when Danny tried punching him with the other hand.

"Ten fractured fingers!" Dan said, and violently twisted Danny's hands, causing Danny to yell in pain again. He tried a kick, but Dan slipped around him, grabbing one arm with both hands.

"Nine Chinese burns!" Dan said as he twisted each hand both ways. Danny yelled once more, even as Dan let go and grabbed the back of Danny's outfit.

"Eight ball, corner pocket!" Dan said, and hurled Danny into the nearest building, Danny crashing up against the hard stone, dark spots dancing in his vision…but still willing to fight, as he pushed off and flew back into the street…

As Dark Danny materialized behind him. Danny whirled.

"Seven painful nerve jabs!" Dan said, and did a rapid-fire combo again, this time with two fingers aimed at specific spots on Danny's body, fresh agony shooting through Danny's muscles as he staggered back.

"Six severed tendons!" Dan said, and clawed Danny across the chest, over his logo. Danny yelled in pain again, green blood seeping through the ragged marks.

"FIVE, BROK-KEN TOES!" Dan sang, and stomped on Danny's foot. Danny yelled one more time.

"Four missing teeth!"

Dan punched Danny across the jaw.

"Three cracked ribs!"

He punched him in the chest.

"Two black eyes!"

Twin punches, one after the other, across Danny's face.

"And a punch!"

No blow.

Danny blinked and opened his eyes, dazed and not thinking clearly.

"Uh…don't you mean…'and a punch straight on your nose?" Danny asked.

"…No." Dan finished, and punched Danny into the sky. Before Danny could even figure out where he was, Dark Danny flew up and once again punched him down to earth.

* * *

And, elsewhere, but also down in the dirt, Vlad Plasmius pulled himself from the tangled wreckage that Dark Danny's Ghostly Wail had wrought, looking around to see that pretty much all the other ghosts were in the same state as himself, if not worse. He couldn't believe the sheer power of that hybrid…except, on another level, he understood it all too well. Both Danny and his ghost halfs, merged, all humanity lost, and then locked away in a prison until sanity began to slip away as well…that could lead to truly scary stuff, including what had just devastated him. 

But he wasn't going to roll over and die, oh no! He was Vlad Plasmius! No one beat him! No one!

"All right!" Vlad declared as he stood up. "Let's give that bastard another go!"

"What?"

"You kidding?"

"Forget it!"

"No way!"

"He's way too powerful!"

"Oh really. So I guess you really want to let him crush you underfoot, like he did once?" Vlad asked. "Do you want to surrender to his sadistic desires?"

"Well…no Vlad…but look what he did. All our powers, combined…and he just shrugged them off." Skulker said. "What could we do?"

"…Yes…it is true…that together we weren't very effective…" Vlad said.

And then he had his idea.

"But TOGETHER…he won't know what hit him!"

Vlad thrust out his arms, and a sphere of green ectoplasm formed in his hands. Everyone stared at it.

"What are you standing there for? Fill it up!" Vlad snapped. "Give me all the power you have left! I'll contain and merge it in this sphere! Then we'll all give it to him, a present from all of us! Even HE won't be able to stand up before such a blow!"

"Why do I have a feeling I've seen this kind of move somewhere…" Youngblood said.

"I don't care where you saw it! Do it! Come on! It's either this or we let him win!"

"Oh, no! I sacrificed too many precious boxes for that!" The Box Ghost declared, and began feeding his energy into it.

"He broke my guitar. Screw HIM." Ember snapped, and added her own. As Vlad watched, every ghost slowly began chipping in as well.

Vlad could hear the battle off in the distance, and much to his surprise, he found himself wishing Danny well…at least in staying in one piece.

Then Vlad would go and finish it, and show that hybrid that he was much more then part of his whole.

* * *

The tanker truck, reading GASOLINE on the side, must have turned the corner while Dan had been wailing on him, because Danny had never seen it coming, as he crashed down through the windshield, the driver screaming and slamming on the brakes, causing Danny to roll off the front and down in front of the wheels. As luck would have it, the truck was stopping and hence didn't run Danny over. 

Danny coughed, and then forced himself to his feet again, as the truck driver opened the door and hopped down.

"Jesus kid, what the hell is…"

"Get out of here!" Danny yelled, waving his arms. "Run! It's not safe! It's not…"

Dan's hand seized Danny from behind by the neck, and before Danny could react Dark Danny lifted Danny off his feet and sank his teeth into Danny's shoulder.

Danny screamed in agony as the teeth bit into him, and with a yell of "Oh holy Christ!" the truck driver took off, running for his life, as fresh blood poured down Danny's shoulder, even as Dan yanked his fangs from Danny's body and hurled him against the truck front. Danny nearly collapsed, having to lean on the truck for support, blood streaming down his arm.

"Heh. I've heard of self-mutilation, but this is ridiculous." Dan Phantasmagoria laughed, and licked his lips with his long tongue. "I think this day is just about over, Danny. This season supposedly once served as the birth of a god…and now it's going to again."

* * *

Sam dragged it out as long as possible, but she knew what she was going to find. Danny's empty seat. And then she would have to go back and report said empty seat, and Danny would get in who knew how much trouble. All because he had decided to do the right thing. 

And Danny thought his day couldn't get any worse, as Sam, out of lies, grudgingly began heading back to the group.

* * *

You could see the clustered Fentons, with Lancer and Tucker, through the glass doors of the Theatre. 

Which stood before a road running parallel to it and a road lined with with the front of the Theatre and pointing away from the door, a very long road…near the end which stood Dan Phantasmagoria and Danny, leaning on the truck, and wondering indeed, how the day had gotten so bad. This was more effective for making one appreciate the season then a hundred ghosts of past, present, future, and every time in between could ever be.

And perhaps the day was lost…

…No. Over his dead body.

Dan arched an eyebrow as Danny tried to get back up…and failed, slumping against the truck once more. He tsked-tsked.

"Come now, me. You must stop fighting. You'll LIKE being me. Really! No more worrying about girls, or homework, or anything at all, because whatever you want, you can take it! No more worrying about the future, because you own the future! No more worrying about pain…because you don't suffer it, you command it…and with it, all is yours…all you have to do…is just give up…"

"…Give…up…" Danny whispered. His fingers clenched the grill of the truck for support.

"Trust me, me. It's no great loss."

"No…great…loss…" Danny hissed, as the grating began to shake, as he thought of it all. The loss he'd avoided, and from that loss, the soul crushing despair, the death of all hope…and the pain…the pain he just wanted to be rid of…the pain that had led to Dan Phantasmagoria's birth…pain…the pain…use the pain…NEED THE PAIN…!

"RAGGAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Danny screamed, lunging off the truck front and punching Dark Danny across the face so hard he nearly ripped his jaw off.

"YOU KNOW NOTHING OF PAIN! NOTHING OF LOSS! BUT I'LL SHOW YOU! I'LL SHOW YOU!" Danny bellowed, as he slammed punch after punch into Dark Danny's face, ignoring his own pain, shooting through his shoulder, coursing through his body, and erupting from his fists, as he hammered another punch, and another, and another, into Dark Danny…and left himself completely open for Dark Danny's counter-punch.

"Oh be silent you bleating child! I know more then you ever will! This is the future Danny! No matter what you DO!" Dark Danny snarled, and punched at Danny again.

Danny grabbed his arm, yanked him backwards, throwing his body to the ground as he pulled Dark Danny's body above him and kicked him into the sky, and even as Dark Danny tried to right himself Danny flew up after him and spun, kicking Dan into the road next to the side of the truck, and as Dark Danny pulled himself up Danny lanced down and slammed his interlaced fists on top of Dan's head, sending his neck and spine buckling down…right into Danny's upward kick, sending the hybrid staggering back.

Dark Danny returned, snarling, as he clawed at Danny's face. Danny dodged it and slammed one punch, then another, across Dark Danny's face, knocking out a bloody tooth. Dan snarled again and lunged with another claw swipe. Danny jerked to the side, and Dan's claws caught on the tanker and tore it open, Dan spinning away from the liquid that began to gush out from inside as he fired a blast at Danny. Danny leapt upward onto the top of the tanker, and Dan followed him, as the two traded more and more vicious blows.

But…for all his rage, and his determination…Danny's wounds were catching up to him. He'd lost too much blood, and expended too much energy…and Dan Phantasmagoria was just so…powerful…

The kick caught Danny across the jaw and he found himself tumbling off the tanker. He looked up and then rolled away as Dan flew down after him, plunging a claw where he had just been. Danny whirled up…and ate a point-blank range ecto-blast that blew him back into the side of the tanker. Danny staggered forward…and right into another punch that slammed him against the side again.

Dark Danny kneed him in the gut, and as the Halfa doubled over he grabbed Danny's hair and slammed the back of his head against the truck so hard it dented. Stars exploded in Danny's vision, and then Dark Danny blitzed him, punching him again and again, across the face and chest, the metal beneath Danny buckling from the blows.

And then it stopped, and Danny was left swaying on his feet, as Dan jumped back, brushed his cape away, and lanced forward again with the mother of all jab punches.

The impact sounded like a Christmas firecracker going off.

Dan stepped back, as Danny, his face a swollen mess, swayed on his feet for another few seconds, reached weakly towards Dan Phantasmagoria…and then collapsed at his feet, white rings shooting over him and returning him to Danny Fenton.

And Dark Danny grinned.

"I have seen the future, and it is I."

* * *

"…He's not there." Sam said sadly. 

"My god…what if he's been kidnapped? What if…?" Maddie agonized.

"Miss Fenton, I understand your worries, but we are in a Theatre in a good part of town in the middle of the day. The odds that he has been kidnapped are astronomical. Chances are he'd just hopped on a bus and headed home, thinking he could use his fading illness as a cover. I must say, I am rather disappointed."

"Ohhhhh…if I find Danny at home, I swear I'll ground him until doomsday!" Maddie snapped. Sam, Tucker, and Jazz all exchanged pained glances, trapped with their knowledge of the truth.

"Say…does anyone hear a truck horn?" Jack asked.

* * *

"Hmmmmm." Dan said, as he looked at the tanker. It didn't have quite the same poetic nature as overheated Nasty Sauce…but it would do, as he strode over to the door. One swift kamikaze drive and phase, and the whole Theatre would go down in flames. Chances of survivors: virtually nil. 

"Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. Please put a penny in an old man's hat…" Dan said as he hopped through the open door. "If you haven't got a penny, a half-penny will do…" The keys were still in the ignition. "If you haven't got a half-penny, god bless you."

Dan's foot shoved down on the accelerator, and the truck began to move. Dan laughed and pulled the horn, the loud sound blasting across the street. Yeah, that was the sound of destiny.

He glanced to the side, looking at the rolled down window. How wasteful: it'd let all the heat out, as Dan grabbed the handle on the door and began to roll it closed…

As a hand shot through the window and grabbed Dan by the throat.

"Yikes!" Dan said, pushing down harder on the gas, even as Danny fully climbed up on the side of the door and tried to get both hands around Dan's throat. He didn't care if he had ghost powers or no ghost powers: he wasn't letting this lunatic hurt his loved ones, as he choked and clawed at Dark Danny's eyes.

Dark Danny wasn't perturbed: in fact, he laughed again, even as the truck barreled down the street, heading for the Theatre.

* * *

"…Hey." Tucker said, noticing the sight through the glass door. "What's that?" 

"…Just a truck Mr. Foley. Nothing you haven't seen before." Mr. Lancer said.

"But it looks like it's heading straight for us."

"You're just seeing things Mr. Foley."

* * *

"STOP! STOP! I WON'T LET YOU!" Danny said, as he tried to punch and claw at Dark Danny, but he had little leverage and balance, hence turning the whole thing into a joke for Dan Phantom. 

"Oh I must admit, I certainly was a spirited one!" Dan said. "But enough reminiscing: this is your stop!"

"NO!" Danny yelled, trying to do anything, twist the steering wheel, grab the keys, strangle his evil future self, anything, as the truck continued to bear down on the Theatre.

And then Dark Danny unlocked the door and slammed it into Danny.

Danny nearly fell off, barely hanging on with one hand, even as Dark Danny drew the door back.

"It's been a slice kid! See you in the future!"

And he slammed the door out again, and Danny was smashed off the side of the truck, falling off and tumbling in the snowy road. Dan laughed as he closed the door and turned his eyes back towards his target.

* * *

"I really think that truck is heading for us." Tucker said. 

"Nonsense Mr. Foley, why would…" Mr. Lancer said.

As he finally turned his full gaze on the truck, and saw it wasn't heading for the Theatre at a leisurely pace. Instead, it seemed to be doing its best impression of a _Mad Max_ film.

"…A Visit from St. Nicolas." Lancer whispered.

* * *

"Have a holly jolly Christmas! And in case you didn't hear! Oh by golly have a holly jolly Christmas…this year!" Dan sang, and gave the horn one final pull. 

As Danny, left behind on the snowy road, barely managed to pull himself up…and then fell back on his side, looking in despair at the retreating truck, the blaring horn…the gasoline pouring from its side…gasoline that lay in a line next to Danny, the scent thick in his nostrils…

"…Oh god! Look out!" Mr. Lancer yelled, as he began backing away, as everyone finally saw the truck heading straight for them…

"GREAT GHOSTS OF GUN GREMLINS!" Jack yelled, as he also began backing up, trying to get Maddie and Jazz behind him.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Dark Danny laughed.

As Danny reached into his pocket, withdrew the Bic Lighter Dash had given him, and flicked it once, producing a small jet of flame, as he looked after the charging truck.

"…Yippie-kai-yay, Mr. Phantom." Danny said, and tossed the lighter on the gasoline trail.

The fuel ignited immediately, a long line of fire erupting down the street, rapidly catching up to the gasoline tanker as it closed within fifty feet of the Theatre.

As the line of fire tore up past the truck and shot into the air, following the fuel…

As Dark Danny spied motion in his rear view mirror, and glanced at it…just as the fire surged into the tanker.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The gasoline tanker exploded in a gigantic fireball, every window on the street shattering in unison. The doors of the theatre blew inward from the blast as everyone ran and recoiled, Jazz screaming as the glass flew inward, but fell far short of cutting them, as a massive fireball belched into the sky and then turned into thick, black choking smoke as fiery debris began raining down on the streets.

As Danny fell back on his back and laughed, laughed in the crazy way of a desperate man who had had his last long-range chance pay off. His laugh swiftly turned into coughing, and then he steeled himself as he managed to get to his feet.

His Thermos was miraculously nearby: Danny scooped it up and limped towards the blazing ruins that had once been an 18-Wheeler, trying to ignore the heat as he got close. He had to be sure, had to make certain it was over.

"Daniel?"

Danny looked up to see a shocked Vlad Plasmius floating above him, one hand holding a green sphere which coursed with multi-colored energy inside. Danny blinked, and then returned to staggering towards the flaming automobile.

"Daniel! What the devil happened here?" Vlad said, as he floated down to the ground some distance away.

Danny stopped and looked at him, as he blinked smoke of his eyes.

"Well…let's just say…yes Vlad Masters, there is a Santa…"

"AUUAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Dan Phantasmagoria roared as he tore himself from the wreckage, nearly ripped to shreds himself but together to the point where he could lunge forward and grab Danny by the throat, as Vlad's eyes went wide.

"DAMN YOU BOY! I WILL NOT BE DENIED! NOT AGAIN!" Dark Danny snarled.

"DANIEL! GET CLEAR!" Vlad yelled, as he thrust the arm with the sphere back…

"Ah ah ah!" Dark Danny said, turning towards Vlad while still holding Danny tight by the throat. "What did I tell you about throwing away your shots, me? You should have kept your mouth shut: I can absorb any energy you toss at me!"

"This isn't just my energy, you deviation." Vlad declared. "It's the power of every ghost you dismissed, the power that will bring about your downfall! Once, I built a device called the Plasmius Maximus, which sealed ghost powers, but now I feel the name suits this far better, a unity of ghost powers, and your end!"

"Oh, how interesting." Dark Danny said. "And, praytell…whose power is holding it all together?"

Vlad started to answer…and then his jaw dropped.

"Yours is, me. And that means that I can suck it down regardless of the ingredients." Dan said, as he turned back to face Danny. "So go ahead, throw it! I could use the boost, after what this damn boy just pulled!"

Vlad gulped, as he frantically searched for a way to get around this. Dan Phantasmagoria's energy absorption only worked when he was paying attention, right? He had to distract him! But…Vlad had no idea how to do that, and all the other ghosts were keeping their distance…so how could he…

"I don't know how you do it boy, BUT IT WON'T WORK!" Dan yelled, as he shook the exhausted Danny like a rug. "IT DOESN'T MATTER! I AM DAN PHANTASMAGORIA, THE GREATEST GHOST OF ALL! I am more of a power, more of a force, even more of a MAN, then you, or HE, AH AH!" Dan yelled as he interrupted Vlad trying to toss the Plasmius Maximus at him again. "WILL EVER BE! YOU CANNOT FIGHT DESTINY! YOU CANNOT FIGHT FATE! What can you even do to try, boy? WHAT? WHAT?"

And Danny, in one final burst of anger, snapped up his leg and kicked Dark Danny as hard as he could in the testicles.

"AIYYYYYYYYOAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Dan Phantasmagoria shrieked. More of a man, indeed.

Vlad knew an opening when he saw it, and as Danny leapt back Vlad hurled the Plasmius Maximus. It caught Dan Phantasmagoria and froze him as massive energy erupted from the attack, tearing through Dark Danny as he howled in rage.

Danny punched in the code on the Thermos with his thumb.

"Nut…" Danny said, as he held out the Thermos, the brilliant energy shining out and seizing Dan Phantasmagoria, drawing him in once more. "Cracker." Danny added.

He slipped the lid on as the extra security measured activated and snapped shut over the Thermos, sealing it as tight as a drum. Danny looked at it.

"…Sweet." Danny finished.

And then there was silence.

The others ghosts began creeping over to see what had happened, landing around the still-flaming wreckage of the tanker, most of their eyes darting around as they hunted for Dark Danny, as if they weren't wholly sure he was gone. Some actually congratulated Vlad for nailing the shot and letting Danny capture him.

Danny ignored it all, as he limped forward a few more steps and looked around the fiery hulk of a truck, through the shattered doors of the Theatre…seeing his dad helping his family up, even as Tucker and Sam did likewise with Mr. Lancer, the group a bit rattled but unharmed.

Destiny denied.

"Well Daniel…" Vlad spoke, and Danny glanced at him. "That was…very impressive. Even I must admit that. And not bad final words either."

Danny didn't reply, as he became aware of a purplish light illuminating his face, and as he turned to look Clockwork lowered himself down on the ground near Danny, his face (he was currently an adult) unreadable, but his eyes clearly showing regret.

Danny just looked at him, part of him wanting to yell, to accuse Clockwork of letting Dan Phantasmagoria go, of doing nothing in the battle, of nearly getting his family killed all over again…

…and then he offered him the new Thermos.

"…Hopefully, this will hold him better." Danny said. And that was all.

Clockwork took the locked and buckled container, looking at it briefly before looking back at Danny.

"…I am sorry, young man. I was remiss in my duties for a moment…and it cost you dear."

"Oh hey, it's nothing. Forgive and forget, right? After all, it's Christmas."

Danny couldn't tell, but he thought he could almost see Clockwork smile a bit, as he morphed to an ancient old man.

"Indeed it is." Clockwork said. "And while I could do nothing for this battle…I can do something now. Consider it my gift to you." Clockwork said, as he raised his staff. "For I am a master of time…"

The ghosts watched silently as purple energy began to infuse Clockwork's staff, the hands on it beginning to spin, slowly at first, and then more rapidly.

"With the sole exception of the events that lead to the dark one's defeat and capture, let everything be as it was…!"

* * *

And with a jerk Danny found himself sitting back in his seat in the theatre. 

"Danny?" Sam whispered, glancing over, as Danny sat up a bit and looked around in surprise.

He was back in the auditorium, sitting with his class, as on stage Herr Drosselmeyer's special 'dolls' did their unique toy-like dance.

Exactly where he was before he had sensed Dan Phantasmagoria.

And up in his box, Vlad was just as surprised, as he blinked several times and then began looking around. Next to him, Penelope Spectra looked just as confused.

"…What just happened?" She asked. "We were around the truck, and then…we're back here?"

"…We…we're back." Vlad said, as he looked down on the ballet and then the audience, where Danny sat, glancing around.

"What just happened?"

"You're sitting on my lap dipstick!"

"Weren't we just fighting that freaky clone of the ghost boy?"

"Get your foot out of my face!"

"Quiet! The humans will hear us!"

"What's going on?"

"Ah, be silent for a moment, I, Technus, will explain. The ghost known as Clockwork has clearly invoked subtle temporal manipulation to rewind our personal history to a certain degree, making an exception of the amalgam threat we faced, so while we have all returned before the event happened, for him, the event has happened and he is captured. In other words…we get our cake and to eat it to."

"…So we won't have to fight him again?"

"Nope!"

"Then why are you still talking! We're missing the performance!"

"Oh right right! Sorry!"

"Danny? You ok?" Sam asked again. Danny looked a bit freaked out.

And while he didn't have Technus' scientific understanding, he could faintly remember Clockwork's last words.

"…_an hour ago._"

"…Yeah Sam, it's ok." Danny said, as he relaxed back into his chair. "Everything's just fine."

And Danny found, contrary to what he believed, that under the right set of circumstances, he could appreciate ballet.

* * *

"All right class, hang on, we still have to drive you back to the school, it won't take long, you can leave immediately afterward…" Mr. Lancer said as he tried to direct traffic. Danny saw his mother looking for him and hid behind Sam and Tucker, not wanting his mom to add to his woe in gushing over the performance. Which had been good, Danny supposed, he wasn't exactly a qualified expert on ballet. The people performing it certainly did have a lot of training, Danny could see that. He supposed he could admire that. 

"Oh come on Danny. When we come back in January, the odds of the class remembering this has to be pretty low." Sam commented on Danny's attempts to avoid his family.

"You might not be saying that if you were on the receiving end. Ack!" Danny said, as Maddie spotted his class. "Cover for me!" He said, as he dashed some distance away and hid behind a plant.

"I must admit I was impressed by the number of you who paid attention…" Lancer was saying, as Danny peeked behind the plant and then turned around.

And found himself face to face with Vlad.

"Daniel." Vlad said.

Danny blinked.

"…Vlad." He replied.

The two looked at each other.

"…So, what will happen to our…past lives?" Vlad asked.

"…Clockwork will hopefully lock him up firmer this time. He exists outside of time now…I don't know if that means he'll always be with us or he's in the slow process of fading away…but this time…well, let's just hope Clockwork wraps him up and sticks him under a tree somewhere where no one will come to open him."

"Yes…better to be lost…lost and forgotten, hopefully forever." Vlad added. "…You know Fenton, when next we meet, these events will be moot. We'll still be enemies. I won't hold back in the least."

"Yeah, I know." Danny replied.

"…Well then. I will say, for this occurrence though…if I must have an opponent, it's good that he's a worthy one." Vlad said. "Merry Christmas, Danny."

And Vlad walked past him, heading off as he met up with Spectra…and ran into Jack again, who immediately grabbed Vlad and began giving him an affectionate noogie. Danny chuckled to himself.

"Oh tidings of comfort and joy." Danny replied, and went to rejoin his class.

* * *

Several days later, Christmas Eve. 

"Well, everything's in place, all the shopping's done…now we have the moment before the big day." Danny said, as he relaxed back on the couch with his feet on the table.

And suddenly found Jazz at his side, poking him.

"Ok, who are you, and what have you done with my Scrooge of a brother?" Jazz asked. Nearby, Tucker and Sam laughed.

It was clear only the ghosts remembered the battle: the rest of his group, Danny had found out, could remember nothing except watching the ballet. In the end, Danny had decided to keep it that way. Time muckery could cause more headaches then needed.

"Jazz, I'm me! Really!" Danny said, as he sipped his hot chocolate.

"But…this is Christmas! Yeah, Mom and Dad have kept their arguing to a minimum, GOOD, but you're always a sourpuss during this time! Instead you're…you're chipper!"

"…Well Jazz, true this time has some bad memories…but if time is for anything, it's for making new memories. Besides…there are worse things." Danny said.

"Mmmm." Tucker said, drinking deeply from his cup. "I don't care what most people say, eggnog is delicious. They should serve it all year round."

"How can you drink that stuff? It's eggs and milk mixed with about ten metric pounds of sugar! Ugh!" Sam groaned.

"Hey Sam, different strokes for different…" Danny began.

Then an icy blue blast of wind escaped his mouth.

"…Aw man. What now, of all nights?" Danny said. "Where are our parents Jazz?"

"Down in the basement. I think Maddie's trying the scientific route for Jack this year." Jazz said, referring to their Santa argument.

"All right then. I'm going ghost!" Danny said, as the white rings appeared and flashed over him, as he headed out the door.

However, he couldn't find any sign of ghosts, as he darted around looking, as his friends and sister, now wearing their winter coats, came out the door to follow him.

"See anything?" Sam called up.

"No! I'm going to try over there!" Danny said, and flew down a street, looking around.

He did indeed find ghosts about a minute later. Lots of ghosts. But not doing what Danny was expecting.

"Caroling?" Danny said in amazement.

Indeed, all the ghosts were out, some dressed up to hide their less human attributes, and they were going around singing carols. Danny knew about the truce now, of course, but it was still a strange sight. Then again, they were ghosts, maybe they felt the Christmas 'spirit' more then humans did.

Danny's friends were just as surprised when they arrived nearby, as Danny flew down to confer with them.

"I don't think they'll be doing anything funny, but I'm going to follow them around, just to make sure. You guys don't have to, if you don't want to." Danny said, but his friends and sister said they'd follow the ghosts on the ground anyway. Danny shrugged, and took back to the sky, as the ghosts moved on.

And indeed, the only problems Danny could see was a constant argument between Ember and Walker: Ember wanted to sing the English version of 'Oh Come All Ye Faithful' and Walker wanted to sing it in its original Latin, which lead to a very amusing 'sing-off' as each ghost tried to prove their version was better. If Danny had been down there, he would have told Walker to stick with being a warden.

Eventually, Danny got closer, watching the group from various buildings, paying more attention to keeping out of the ghost's sight then where he was going.

Hence he didn't realize just where he was until the last second, as he realized he was in the better part of town…and that the ghosts were heading for Paulina's house.

Looking for any excuse, Danny popped into the house and went invisible near a front window as the ghosts knocked on the door. No one answered: apparently Paulina's family had decided to turn in early, and the ghosts shrugged and moved on. Danny breathed a sign of relief, turned visible again, and flew through Paulina's living room, planning to leave through the front door.

And hence he ran into Paulina, who was heading downstairs in her nightgown.

"Ack!" Danny said, as Paulina almost screamed…and then realized who it was.

"…Ghost Boy." She said affectionately.

"Uh…hi miss! Um, I'm…just serving as Santa's Helper tonight, yes yes, just checking all the houses to make sure Santa'll be ok, yeah, no need to worry about me being here, don't have to call the cops…!" Danny stammered.

"Now why would I want to do that?" Paulina said, her eyes sultry. Danny gulped.

"Well…I am in your house…and all…"

"Not just that. Look up." Paulina said.

Danny did so…and saw the wreath hanging above.

"…Oh, a wreath. I thought it would be mistletoe." Danny said.

"It'll do." Paulina said, and leapt into Danny's arms.

Danny, honestly, nearly passed out. Paulina was one hell of a kisser.

"Paulina? Are you down there?" Came the voice of an adult male from upstairs, as Paulina stepped back from a dazed Danny Phantom.

"My dad probably shouldn't find you here. Merry Christmas, Ghost Boy." Paulina said. Danny just muttered some gibberish and turned around, floating across the room and actually bumping lightly against the front door a few times before he remembered to turn intangible so he could leave, as he floated off, on cloud nine.

For a minute or so, as he eventually came down from the pleasant high and realized two things.

He'd lost the ghosts.

And his friends.

Immediate thoughts of master plans and setups sprang to Danny's head, as he flew down and began frantically hunting for either group, his mouth dry at the sudden thought that it didn't take an evil future clone to ruin your life…

Danny found them in the nearby park.

Both of them.

"HUNH?" Danny said, as he streaked to a stop.

"Hey, Danny's here! Now we can start!" Sam said, as she lifted a glass filled with something or other. Indeed, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz had actually JOINED the ghost carolers, and had gotten matching red hats.

"What the…" Danny said, still a bit surprised, and then a hand thudded on his shoulder.

"Oh relax ghost boy. It's Christmas." Skulker said. "It's the truce. We won't harm you or your friends. Afterwards maybe, most likely quite severely…but for now, you're all welcome."

"Mmmm, Danny, you have to try this! It's concentrated Christmas cheer! It'll make even the fiercest Scrooge turn into…well, Sam." Tucker said, as he drank from the tall glass.

"Concentrated Christmas cheer?" Danny asked, as he was handed a glass.

"Just think of it as your human alcohol…without all the deliberating side effects." Skulker said.

Danny stared at the glass…and then took a sip.

"…Whoo!" He said. "Merry Christmas ghosts! Merry Christmas world! What do you want? I can get anything!" Danny babbled. "What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, guys!"

"Uh…ok. Then what?" Sam asked.

"Well, then we can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of our fingers and our toes and the ends of our hair..."

Skulker whacked Danny on the back of his head.

"Thank you. I'm better now." Danny said, and took another sip. "Oh yeah, this stuff has eggnog beat."

"Hey!" Tucker protested.

"Hey, I got the tree! Coming through!" Came a voice, and then a ghost that had been absent until now, the geeky Sidney Poindexter, arrived through the crowd…carrying a tiny, limp, nearly branchless and needleless tree, as he set it down among the ghosts.

Everyone stared.

"What were you expecting, going to get a tree on Christmas Eve?" Poindexter said. "Yeah, it's small…and dead…and the author's ripping something off…but we're not average kids, remember?" Poindexter said as he glanced at Ember.

"…Oh right! Desiree, fix that up!"

"So shall you Christmas wish it, so shall it be!" Desiree said, and with a swirl of magic the tree was transformed into a magnificence piece of Christmas artwork.

"You know, I hate to put a damper on this, but our parents could notice us missing soon." Jazz said to Danny.

"…They won't, not for a little bit more." Danny said, as Ember unslung her guitar and began tuning it up.

Everyone looked at her. They recognized the tune.

"…Sure, why not?" Danny said. "Now how did it go…ah yes! Hark, the herald angels sing! Glory to…um, uh…oh yeah, the new born king!"

"Peace on earth, and mercy mild…" Tucker added.

"God and sinners reconciled!" Ember declared, and went into a guitar jam.

Everyone stopped singing and stared at her.

"…Heh. Sorry." Ember said.

"…From the top!" Danny declared, raising his glass.

_"Hark! the herald angels sing,  
Glory to the new born King!  
Peace on earth, and mercy mild,  
God and sinners reconciled!"_

We pan out on the singing ghosts, revealing a small pink elf playing on a miniature piano.

_"Joyful, all ye nations rise,  
join the triumph of the skies;  
with th' angelic host proclaim,  
"Christ is born in Bethlehem!"  
Hark! the herald angels sing,  
"Glory to the new born King!"_

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!" Danny declared, as behind him Jazz had fetched a stick with mistletoe dangling from it and hung it over Danny.

Danny looked up to see it just as Sam kissed him on the cheek, even as Youngblood popped up in front of them

"And god bless us, every one!" Youngblood said.

* * *

"OH COME ON!" Ghost Writer complained from within the dumpster. "That was a terrible ending! It went on way too long! It was loaded with cliché and holiday schmaltz! It was clearly tacked on! You should have ended it back in the Theatre! Terrible! Terrible! AND WILL SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF THIS BLOODY DUMP…!" 

A sixteen ton fruitcake fell on the dumpster.

"EVERYONE'S A CRITIC!"

_**The End!**_


End file.
